Ana had woken up with Messy wrapped around her a few times by now. Waking up naked, with an equally naked Messy draped across her, in the middle of the day and after a post-coital nap? That was an entirely new, very pleasant experience, and she pulled Messy closer as she relaxed back into the pillow.

  Messy, still sleeping, gave off a contented little sigh. She looked so sweet and innocent, sleeping there. A complete contrast to… Ana didn’t know how long had passed, but before they fell asleep, anyway.

  The cheers, jeers, and dirty looks that had followed them out of the bathhouse had done nothing to cool Messy down, nor had the cross-town walk. Once they got through the door she’d made sure, one last, nervous time, that by “continue at home” Ana had indeed meant getting naked and sweaty together. After that there had been nothing careful or timid about her.

  Her girlfriend, Ana discovered, liked to take charge. She was very considerate, too. Ana didn't know if there was a word for the polar opposite of a pillow princess, but Messy was it. It had been, to put it mildly, very pleasant.

  The fact that she liked Messy as much as she did was probably a big part of that.

  No matter how good it had been, though, Ana felt weird. She always did after sex. There was a disconnect between the concept and the act that she'd never gotten over. The idea did nothing for her; thinking about it didn't make her excited, nor was it something that she thought about much at all, not in a participatory sense. She could go the rest of her life without ever sleeping with anyone again, and she doubted that she’d miss it. Even today she hadn’t been excited about the sex itself; she’d been excited by Messy’s excitement, about the idea of getting closer to her and making her feel good, happy, and satisfied. Of binding Messy closer to herself, making her less likely to leave, if Ana were to be brutally honest with herself. But when things actually happened, when she pushed herself the right way to get her body responding, and once hands and lips were going places they usually wouldn't, she enjoyed it. With the right person, like just now, she enjoyed it a whole lot. And then it was over, and the indifference came back.

  Even now, with Messy soft and warm and naked on top of her, sex was only indirectly on Ana’s mind. Instead she was thinking about the things Messy had said, in grunts and purrs and hot, heavy breaths, once lust turned her brain to mush. About how hot Ana had been commanding the militia, when she threw caution to the wind to rescue Ray, and especially when she was tearing through all those crazies on her own — Ana’s guess was that Messy liked to know that Ana could protect her. Messy was capable herself, but she’d told Ana more than once how safe she made her feel.

  Interesting how it went both ways. Despite her Skills and her Attributes, Ana never felt as safe as she did right where she was right then: in Messy's arms.

  But more than any of that, she thought about what Messy had said after. When they’d cleaned up and wrapped themselves around each other beneath the blankets, and Messy was half asleep and about to turn off completely. Ana could still hear the words, and she replayed those few seconds again and again, when Messy had kissed her temple and whispered, “I love you, Angel.”

  Nobody had ever told her that before and meant it. At least not that she could remember, and certainly not romantically. She was pretty sure that this was… fast. That the L-word didn’t usually come out after only knowing each other for three weeks, and being involved for just over one. She was also pretty sure that she didn’t care. She wasn’t going anywhere, and she hoped that Messy wasn’t either. The elfin woman, with her braids and bright amber eyes, had quickly and effectively established herself as the primary source of safety and comfort in Ana’s life, and if Ana had her way that would never change.

  Was that love? Ana didn’t know. But she was beginning to suspect that if she were to lose Messy, it would hurt her in a way that she’d never been hurt before.

  “Hey, Mess,” she murmured, caught between her responsibilities and wanting to stay just like they were for the rest of time, just soaking in Messy’s presence. “We need to get up, Mess.”

  “Mrrmh, no,” Messy grumbled, wiggling herself in closer and tightening her grip.

  “Yes,” Ana giggled, and was instantly horrified with herself. Ana didn’t giggle. Stacy giggled, when strategically appropriate. Then Messy murmured, “Cute,” and kissed her on the corner of the mouth, and Ana decided that maybe a giggle every now and then wasn’t so bad.

  “You don’t regret it, do you?” Messy whispered a few seconds later. Her eyes were half open and looking at Ana, her brows slightly knotted.

  “Regret it?” Ana asked. She stroked Messy’s neck, down over one shoulder blade and farther down until her hand came to rest on the swell of a hip. “You mean this? The sex?”

  Messy nodded, just a tiny, anxious movement of her head.

  “No, Mess. I don’t regret it. It was great. And even if you hadn’t made me feel as good as you did, the way you enjoyed yourself would have made it worth it anyway.” She leaned in and kissed the crease between Messy’s brows, feeling it relax under her lips. “Why would you think that?”

  “You don’t— you said that you don’t like it.”

  “Oh. Oh, Mess, no! I don’t pursue sex. I don’t have a— do you know what a ‘sex drive’ is? Libido?”

  “Desire?”

  “Pretty much, I guess. Yeah. I don’t have that. But I enjoy it, okay? I slept with you because I wanted to. Because you were so excited, and I wanted to be a part of that. And I’ll want to do it again, after how you made me feel, so don’t worry about that either.”

  There was a glimmer in Messy’s eyes at that, a hint of husky excitement in her voice. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” Ana laughed. “You just have to be clear with me when you want it, all right?”

  Messy leaned in, her lips finding Ana’s ear and starting to work their way down her neck. “Clear like this?”

  With another giggle, Ana gently pushed her away. “Clear like that, yeah. But sadly, I need to go see Tellak and Touanne, and the other officers. There’s still a lot of shit to deal with after our mission today.”

  Messy groaned and pouted for a second, before relenting.

  “Would you come? I’d feel better having you with me.”

  “Oh? Yeah, sure! I’ll just need to talk to Master Renvi on the way.”

  “Thank you,” Ana said, kissing her on the forehead.

  It took some time before they finally managed to get dressed and leave the apartment. Ana really did feel better about having Messy along. It wasn’t that anything in particular made her uncomfortable, but Messy was a steadying presence. Ana did feel a little guilty about keeping her away from her work, but there were times when it was acceptable to be selfish. With the responsibility Ana had suddenly found on her shoulders, everyone, Messy and Renvi included, were better off with Ana calm and steady. Diamonds were forever; they could damn well wait until things calmed down.

  They grabbed some food on their way through the square, but at Touanne’s shop the door was locked, and there was no answer when they rang the bell. Ana couldn’t hear anything at the windows, either. It wasn’t hard to guess where the Healer might be, though. Sure enough, Ana and Messy found Tellak at the guardhouse, where an orderly queue of people, all of whom had participated in the mission, waited their turn to be admitted to a small room where Touanne was treating them for small cuts and scrapes they’d picked up during the morning’s action.

  “Where’s Jancia?” Ana asked, and Tellak gestured toward the stairs.

  “Downstairs, in one of the cells. She’s calm today, but we couldn’t leave her alone at the shop. All these people will be joining her, at least for the night. Just as a precaution.”

  “And they’re okay with that?” Ana asked in a low voice.

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  Simt, the Kineticist officer, was among the people waiting. She must have had an excellent Perception, or naturally good hearing, because she answered for Tellak. “We all understand the reason, Ana. We know what happened with Jay, and seeing her today probably convinced anyone who wasn’t already.” There were some murmurs of agreement from the queue. “Nobody wants to go to sleep at home and wake up trying to claw their friend’s or lover’s eyes out, do they?”

  “So what happened to you?” Ana asked.

  Simt shrugged. “One of the bastards fell on me. I took his legs out and he scratched mine. Not bad. Would have had it looked at right away but I didn’t even feel it until I was washing off. I won’t lie; I’m damned scared. Like I said, we all know what happened with Jay. With her Connection, and all. I’m putting my trust to luck, and to our dear midwife.”

  On cue, Touanne came out with a Themion man — Rill, or something like that. He was a Hordebreaker (16), and Ana had seen him that morning doing some brutally effective work with a longsword. She hoped that he’d be fine; he was just the kind of person they needed, both willing and able to do what was necessary against masses of weak enemies.

  As Tellak led the man away toward the cells, Touanne scanned the line. “Oh, hello,” she said on seeing Ana and Messy. She sounded tired. “Did you want something? Is either of you hurt?”

  “No, we’re both fine,” Ana said. “But we’d like to talk for a moment, if you can.”

  “A good excuse to take a break would be welcome,” Touanne admitted before raising her voice slightly. “Everyone, I will take a short pause to catch my breath and speak to Miss Anastasia and Miss Mestendi. Please don’t go far, and always stay in the company of someone who is uninjured. Now,” she said, turning back to Ana and Messy and gesturing toward the door. “Please.”

  The small room looked like it was used for interviews or interrogations. It had a hook in the ceiling, possibly for a lamp, a large window, a table, and two chairs. That was it. Once Ana had closed the door behind them, Touanne looked despondently at the two chairs and tried to offer both to Ana and Messy.

  “Not happening,” Ana said. “Sit. You too, Mess.”

  Messy looked at her then smiled and shook her head. “Just…” she said under her breath then slid past Ana and out the door. She returned moments later with a third chair which she placed next to the one Ana had offered her. “While I appreciate the treatment,” she said, sitting down and patting the one she’d just brought, “let’s be practical, shall we?”

  “I must be distracted,” Ana said, sitting down. “Can’t imagine why.”

  Touanne looked between the two of them then smiled tiredly. “As much as I’d love to just have a long, relaxed chat with the two of you, I don’t imagine that’s why you’re here. Ana? Your masking is coming along wonderfully, by the way.”

  “Thanks. How bad were people hurt?”

  “Nothing terrible. Anything obvious got dealt with as soon as you got back in. There are three other Life mages here, you know? Lower level, and not Healer classed, but any Life mage can do some limited healing, and two of them were there. I’m taking care of unnoticed injuries, people who had to be badgered into seeking help, doing some extra checks on anyone who had an open wound healed…” She sighed. “Things like that.”

  “No signs of…?”

  “Not that we’ve seen. Might be it needs time to take root, and that early intervention prevents infection. We’ll need to keep an eye on them. Well, you talked to Tellak, I’m sure.”

  “Yeah. Speaking of. Did Tellak talk to you about the prisoners?”

  Touanne shrank in on herself slightly. “She did. And I understand the reasoning. I even admit that I will probably be forced to try to… make use of them, and soon. But it’s hard, you see? No matter how many excuses I make for myself, if I should…”

  The Healer’s voice failed her, and she buried her face in her hands, resting her elbows on the table. Ana felt a spike of pure misery, strong enough to shake her, and they gave Touanne time as her shoulders shook. Before long she wiped her eyes, looking up again. “I can’t even say it. Thinking it is bad enough.”

  “Touanne,” Messy asked gently, “whatever it is you need to test… can anyone do it? Does it need a deep devotion to the Craft of Life?”

  “No. But it’s a complex ritual,” Touanne said, her voice heavy with resignation. “It’s not enough to get the runes right. You need a strong Connection to bind it together, and to be able to channel a lot of mana into it, to drive it.”

  “Okay. Does it have to be one person? Could two or more people working together do it?”

  “Possibly? Where are you going with this?”

  “Well… perhaps Ana and Tellak could do it? Would that be possible?”

  “Ana?” Touanne became thoughtful. “Perhaps, but… I don’t mean to be dismissive, but—”

  “But I’m an absolute beginner,” Ana said. “What’s needed? I’m willing to try, but if there’s any risk of me ruining everything, I’d rather not.”

  “You know, I don’t think so,” Touanne said. “I don’t think there’s any risk of you causing any damage. You may cause the ritual to not work, but if it fails it will be because it was poorly constructed. You understand the difference?”

  “Sure, yeah. So if I fuck it up nothing will happen?”

  “Not how I would have put it, perhaps, but yes. That’s right.”

  “So what would I need to do?”

  “You would need to read and understand the runes, channel mana into them, and maintain the connection between the constructs as they form while Tellak activates them. It’s quite different from regular shaping; all of the construction language is in the ritual itself. If you can learn the runes… yes! It could, perhaps, work!”

  “I’m willing to start whenever you have time,” Ana said. “But I guess you’ll be busy here for a while?”

  “Well, yes, but my notes…” Touanne picked up a bag that lay in the corner and took out the book that Ana had given her, along with another, slimmer volume. “Here,” Touanne said, pushing them both across the table. “The original book, and my annotated translation, with page references. You can start immediately, if you wish, and I’ll answer any questions you have once I finish here.”

  “Oh,” Ana said, looking at the two books. She opened Touanne’s notes. They were… legible. And small. And dense to the point that Ana blessed her high Perception. “Sure. I’ll… Mess? Shall we?”

  “Actually, could I talk to Touanne a bit?” Messy said, turning to the Healer. “If you have time?”

  “I’ll take the time,” Touanne said. She must have seen or heard something that Ana, for all her Perception, missed, because she smiled kindly and leaned across the table, placing her hand gently on Messy’s.

  “Right. Yeah, I’ll be out there, then,” Ana said. She felt suddenly like she was intruding on something. “I’ll— yeah.”

  The book was surprisingly easy to read with Touanne's notes to help her, and with Tellak available to answer a question here and there. While Ana couldn't just read the text or the diagrams the way she could with whatever language it was she'd been speaking this past month, she did pick up both systems of writing with a speed that she herself could hardly believe. They weren't even simple, either! It wasn't like English, where two or three letters together could be pronounced fifteen different ways, but the main language of the book had all kinds of little modifiers in different combinations, and as for the runes… they were like Chinese. There were hundreds of the things, sometimes combining to make new characters. And yet it was enough to read and understand a character once, and she knew it.

  She’d learned Spanish and French quickly, sure, and had been making good progress on German and Italian, but this was something else.

  She lost herself for a while, marveling at how easy it was, and didn't notice someone coming to join her until Messy pulled out the chair across the table.

  Messy's eyes were red and puffy, her makeup smeared, but she was smiling.

  “Hey,” Messy said, laying her hands across the table with a sniffle. Ana took them, looking back with concern.

  “Hey. Are you all right?”

  Messy looked down at their joined hands. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. I just needed to talk to Touanne about some things. About this morning, and…” She hesitated, then, “About you.”

  “Nothing bad, I hope?”

  “No, nothing bad,” Messy laughed, shaking her head. “Not at all. But… I don’t think that I’m cut out for fighting people. Demons, sure, but…”

  “Okay.”

  “Just like that? ‘Okay’?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You really meant what you said this morning?”

  “Yeah. I’m not going to look down on you because you have all the compassion I don’t. Not you, or anyone else.”

  “Thank you. I knew you'd say that. I just needed to hear it. Um… do you think that you should talk to her, too? You killed a lot of people out there. Crazy people trying to kill you, but…”

  “Yeah. I did. And I probably should talk about it. But not now. There are people who need her help a whole lot more than I do, and I think she’ll need a break from all this, after. And I still have a lot of people to talk to.”

  “But you’ll talk to her?” Messy pressed.

  Ana wasn't sure if it would help. Maybe it would. Maybe not. There was only one way to find out. Besides, it was important to Messy.

  “I’ll talk to her. Once this is all over.”

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