Confusion slammed into me as I stared up at William, unsure how to respond. Was he asking if I was ready for us to kiss? I wasn’t. We’d never done that before, and the thought of actually kissing him was terrifying to me, even though part of me was tempted. It felt like he was asking something more, though. The question was too loaded, the silence too tense, and that scared me.

  Desperately, I tried to search through my memories, wanting to know what he was talking about before I answered him in case I said the wrong thing, but they were still locked away from me. My memories stayed stubbornly out of reach, and frustration sparked within me.

  It was impossible to work out what he could be asking me, and that meant I had to be vague in my response, I realised. I had to say something that concealed the fact that I didn’t know anything whilst also prompting him to explain.

  “Maybe?” I said.

  I’d hoped it would come out flirty and coy, but I just sounded uncertain, and it was clear William had noticed too. He pulled back ever so slightly, his eyebrows furrowing.

  “Maybe?” he repeated. “Did you bring the powder? Please tell me you didn’t forget it, Grace. You might not get another chance to get close to the duke!”

  The desperation in his voice scared me. I didn’t expect it, and immediately, I felt the need to say something reassuring. Desperation was dangerous. It made people do reckless things, and I couldn’t let that happen. If William became reckless, it could ruin everything.

  I opened my mouth, intending to tell him I had to powder or say something else to make him feel better, but the words died in my throat as the barrier keeping my memories away from me finally swung open.

  My hand twitched, moving towards my pocket before I could stop it. It was there. The compact William had given me weeks ago was in there. I could feel it through my clothes. It felt bulky and obvious, as if everyone would be able to tell what I was carrying the moment they looked at me.

  But I was just being paranoid. I knew that. Lots of people carried compact mirrors, and there was nothing particularly unusual about mine. It was simple a gift from a suitor. That was all most people would see. They’d never noticed the hidden compartment behind the mirror containing the small envelope of white powder, ready to be dropped into the duke’s wine.

  It was designed to dissolve immediately. The paper package would leave no trace, and the powder was flavourless. The duke would not realise what he was drinking, and by the end of the evening, he’d be dead. His body would be cold and lifeless.

  The company that William’s father owned was poised and ready to step in, when the time was right. They’d fill the void his death would leave, knowing the duke’s company would flounder without him. He had no heir. There was no one to run it in his absence. It would be chaos.

  William’s family would be rewarded handsomely, ensuring their continued wealth and success for generations to come, and I would be included in that. That was part of our agreement, I realised. It was the reason I was doing it, the only reason I agreed to his proposal.

  Once the duke was dead, after people had finished mourning, we would marry. William and his family agreed to ensure my family would be looked after and provided for, meaning that my father would never need to return to work.

  Not that he could. He could scarcely hold a conversation anymore without trailing off, distracted by an errant thought or an imagined sighting of my long-dead brother. I’d gotten used to the frequent and unconnected shifts in conversation topics and the way he called out for my brother, but others hadn’t. They hurried away from him whenever they saw him coming, and if he had to go back to work, it would just get worse.

  But the duke was a good man. That was something I’d learn during the season, after I agreed to William’s suggestion. If I’d realised it before, I wasn’t sure whether I would have been able to do it.

  He was a good man and a good father. He doted on his daughter and celebrated her. It was clear just how much he loved her, and whenever I saw them together, my mind became filled with doubt and unease.

  I would be taking away someone’s father. The thought caused hatred and guilt to curdle in my stomach, and I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to live with myself if I did that. It was cruel. Evil.

  And he reminded me of my dad. The way he treated his daughter, the way he spoke to her… it was almost identical to how my father used to speak to me before everything changed, and that realisation broke something deep within me. I would have given anything to have him back. Even if it were just for a moment, I would still do it.

  I knew how much it hurt to lose a father. It was awful, and the pain never really went away, yet I was planning to inflict that on someone else. It would be worse for her, too. My father was still technically there. He was still physically present, but the duke would not be. He’d be dead, buried, and his daughter wouldn’t be able to cling to the hope that, one morning, he’d wake up and somehow be himself again.

  William was looking at me expectantly, I realised. Impatience grew on his face, and he was mere moments from saying something more.

  “I have it,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I expected.

  The girl would be fine, I tried to reassure myself. Her mother was dead; she died recently, but she had her aunt. I’d seen them interacting at luncheons. They seemed to get on well, and I was certain her aunt would be happy to take care of her. Either she’d move into the mansion or the girl would move into her estate in the countryside. She would ensure the girl had everything she needed. She’d just be missing a father. And a mother.

  William’s gaze flicked back and forth between my eyes, and I could tell he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. He wouldn’t be able to, though. He didn’t understand, and he never would.

  “Are you having second thoughts?” he asked, his voice low and dripping with danger.

  There was only one answer I could give him. Anything else would lead to my death, and I knew that. He cared for me. I could tell he did, but he would still kill me if he had to.

  “No.”

  It was a lie, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. I didn’t want to be a murderer. I didn’t want to be the reason someone grew up without a father who was present and loved her. I knew what that was like. The loneliness and isolation was a constant battle. It stayed with me at all times, and I was haunted, terrorised, by the life I once had. She would be too.

  I wish I didn’t have to do it, that there was another way for me to ensure my family would be safe, but there wasn’t. There was no other way, and I was already in too deep to back out. It was too late. All I could do was move forward and trade one family’s future for my own. I was tearing one family apart so mine would survive, and I hated it. I hated that it was a decision I had made, but it was the only way.

  “Are you sure?” he questioned, bringing his face closer to mine as he peered into my eyes. “Because I need to know you’re going to do what we discussed, Grace.”

  “I will.”

  He hesitated, continuing to examine me closely, and a flash of anger came over me. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from snapping and telling him to move away. It would be dangerous, though. I needed him to view me as submissive and weak. It was the safest thing for me. As long as he underestimated me and what I was capable of, I’d be safer.

  “Okay,” he said finally before taking a small step back.

  It wasn’t far enough, but the distance made me feel slightly better. I sucked in a breath, unaware that I had been holding it until then. My body longed to move away from him, to take a step back just as he had done, but stubbornness overpowered my mind, forcing me to stand my ground.

  I was glad he’d forced me to go for a walk around the gardens with him. It was a good thing. If he hadn’t, I might not have realised what was happening. The powder would have been forgotten in my pocket, and I may have slipped even further.

  It was too easy; that was the problem. It was far too easy to forget who he truly was and what he was capable of. My guard had started to come down, and I was actually falling for him, but I couldn’t let that happen, no matter how difficult it was to resist.

  He could be so sweet. He treated me so well, and he was a perfect gentleman. We’d gone for walks together, for afternoon tea and lunches. It had been lovely, and I’d actually enjoyed my time with him. I really liked him, but that made it so much harder because I was certain that side of him was real. He was kind and thoughtful, and if we’d met under different circumstances, I would have happily married him.

  I probably would have gone my whole life without ever seeing the other side of him, the one that terrified me, and I would have been happier. I doubt I would have ever suspected just how ruthless he could be because there was never a hint of it before. It was so at odds with how he acted most of the time.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  It felt forced, I realised. That was part of the reason I felt so conflicted. His behaviour when he’d spoken of killing the duke and what we would have to do seemed so… unnatural. It wasn’t truly him.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  The question tumbled from my lips before I could stop it, and my body tensed. I did want to know the answer, obviously. It had been bothering me for weeks, and I’d spent so many nights lying awake and trying to figure it out, but I hadn’t thought of anything that made sense.

  If everything went to plan, his family would become wealthy beyond their wildest dreams, but that didn’t feel like a good enough reason. They had a comfortable amount of money already. They weren’t struggling like my family, and all of their businesses seemed to be doing well. There was an announcement in the paper just the other day about one of their recent deals. It had been even more successful than they originally suspected it would be.

  But if they weren’t forcing him to do it for money, then why were they? What else did they stand to gain from the duke’s death?

  William’s throat bobbed as his swallowed. He seemed to be fighting to come up with an answer. I could see the war waging in his eyes, and I couldn’t work out if he wanted to tell me the truth or whether he was just trying to come up with a convincing lie, but after a few seconds, he lifted a shoulder in a somewhat carefree shrug.

  “I guess we’re both just doing what we must to protect our family,” he said in a tone that was too light. It felt forced. “And I’ll do whatever it takes.

  He glanced down, and my gaze followed the movement instinctively. At first, it seemed as though he was just looking at the ground, but then his eyes flicked up, checking to make sure I was watching him. His hands moved, twisting the handle of the cane away from the shaft.

  “Oh,” I gasped, staring at the gun he’d revealed.

  It was small but perfectly concealed within his cane. I hadn’t even suspected it was there before I’d seen it, but it suddenly made sense. He rarely seemed to use the cane, but he carried one at all times, leaning on it lightly. Did all of them, every one I’d seen him carry, contain a gun? Or had he selected that one specifically for the ball, knowing he may need it to intimidate me.

  “I really don’t want to hurt you, Grace,” he muttered, his voice low and grave. “In time, I truly think I could come to love you, but the plan must go ahead. You must do as we discussed, and it has to happen tonight. Do you understand?”

  Threat. That was a threat, I realised slowly. He was warning me that if I didn’t kill the duke, he would kill me, and then my parents would have nothing. I was their last surviving offspring. There would be no more, and no one would ensure they were provided for and able to keep the house that had been in our family for generations.

  They’d starve. They would either starve or freeze to death before too long, and I refused to let that happen.

  “Yes,” I managed to say.

  William continued to stare at me for a moment, his gaze beseeching, before it cleared. His expression changed so suddenly; all trace of his serious demeanour disappeared so quickly that I found myself doubting whether it had even been there in the first place or whether I’d imagined it.

  “Fantastic,” he said brightly, twisting his cane back together. “Well then, my dear. Are you ready to return to the ballroom?”

  I hesitated, still reeling from the change, but I forced myself to smile as I ignored my racing mind. It begged me to turn and run into the maze at the base of the garden. I longed to disappear amongst the hedges and never look back, but I couldn’t.

  “Of course,” I heard myself say, but the words were distant and muffled to my ears.

  William appeared to hear them perfectly, though. He smiled dazzlingly, the expression transforming him into someone disarmingly handsome, before offering his elbow to me. I didn’t want to touch him, didn’t want to be that close to him, but I knew I had to.

  Dizziness started to lap at my mind, making me feel disconnected from the world, but I didn’t allow myself to be swallowed by it. Part of me wanted to leave the world where my family’s future, their survival, rested on my shoulders, but I didn’t feel ready to. It felt like I had to stay. I was too invested, and I wanted to know what I was going to do.

  I had to kill the duke, didn’t I? Was I even capable of doing that? Could I just stand there and watch as his face slowly grew more pale and the life drained out of him? I honestly wasn’t sure.

  What if I told him the truth? The question pulled at me, trying to tempt me. I could do it. If I waited until we were dancing, until William was too far away to hear what I was saying, I could tell him about the scheme. Would that work? Would he believe me?

  “Good evening,” a man said, inclining his head at William and me.

  “Good evening,” I muttered in response.

  “Evening, Harry. Are you coming inside?” William asked.

  The man pulled the cigar from his lips and examined it thoughtfully for a moment.

  “Not just yet, I don’t think,” he said. “Shouldn’t be too much longer, though.”

  “Great, I’ll see you in there,” William replied.

  My eyes darted between them as we moved towards the doors. What was Harry doing outside? Was he simply smoking a cigar, or did he have another reason for being there? William seemed to know him, and that seemed suspicious to me. Of course, he knew most of the people at the ball, but they seemed closer than I’d expected.

  Was it intentional? Has Harry seen William and I go out into the gardens and followed us out to keep an eye on us? On me? Perhaps William had asked him to, knowing he was going to talk to me about the plan and not knowing how I’d react. Harry may have been there just in case it went badly and I tried to make a dash for the ballroom.

  William was wealthy. He was well-liked and charismatic. He was too smart to not have someone there to back him up, and I had no doubt he would have been able to convince people to side with him in the plot against the duke; he’d managed it with me, after all.

  My eyes darted around the crowd of people spilling out of the ballroom doors. How many were aware of what was about to happen? How many knew what I carried in my compact and were prepared to watch the duke die? Maybe there was no one else, but I couldn’t do it.

  I couldn’t risk what might happen if I were to tell the duke the truth. William would be apprehended immediately. He’d be arrested and taken away, but I doubted Harry would be. If there was anyone else, they would remain undetected, simply waiting until the perfect moment to strike.

  They might get to my parents before me. The duke wouldn’t let me leave immediately. The police would want to question me, and even if they sent a squad out to protect them, it would be too late. My parents would most likely already be dead by that time. They couldn’t fight off an attacker. Not anymore. They were too old, too frail, and—

  My thoughts ground to a halt as we entered the ballroom. If it weren’t for William’s firm grip on my hand propelling me forward, I would have come to a stop and been unable to move. Instead, I just allowed myself to be dragged further into the room. My eyes stayed on the dance floor, though. I was transfixed and unable to look away. I wanted to, but my body refused to listen to me.

  “It’s such a shame Louisa died before giving the duke a son,” I heard someone mutter loudly as we passed, their eyes also fixed on the pair dancing before us. “Hopefully, his next wife will have more luck.”

  A sigh came from the person they were speaking to.

  “If only I weren’t already married,” they replied, bitter disappointment twisting their words. “I’ve given Ernest four boys, and what are they going to inherit? The newspaper?”

  She scoffed, but I ignored her, keeping my gaze on the duke as he twirled his daughter on the dance floor. Her giggles reached through the crowd towards me, causing my panic to grow and my grip to tighten on William’s arm.

  The girl wasn’t meant to be there. I didn’t know she would be. She didn’t usually attend the balls. She was too young still and wouldn’t be looking for a husband for another few years at least.

  But she was there. She was right there, dancing with her father. She looked so happy. They both did, and the sight caused tears to burn behind my eyes as my breathing grew more rapid. She had to leave. I needed the girl to go before I slipped poison into her father’s drink, but I couldn’t think of a single reason to make her leave.

  If I asked her to go or for someone to take her away, it would be too obvious. They would immediately suspect me when the duke died, and I wouldn’t be able to talk my way out of it. There would be nothing I could do, and I would likely be executed on suspicion of murder.

  They wouldn’t know it was me otherwise. The powder would make it seem as though the duke had a heart attack. It would be seen as unfortunately, but they were common at his age. No one would look into his death any deeper, and we’d be able to get away with it, but if I said something, if I tried to stop the girl from watching her father die, everything would come crashing down on top of me.

  Maybe I could wait, I thought desperately. If I waited a few more hours, until it was even later in the evening, the girl might grow bored and leave. She might be too tired to stay until the ball came to a close. That could work, but it was risky. The duke may leave before then too. He might have business he needed to attend to or perhaps he would just get tired, and then there would be nothing I could do. I had to seize the first opportunity I found.

  The duke caught my eye, and his smile widened. Genuine happiness seemed to glow on his face, and I swallowed, forcing myself to return the smile even as my heart pounded.

  I had to leave, I realised as dizziness swarmed towards me. I couldn’t stay in that world and watch the duke die whilst his daughter watched on. The sound of her cries, of her voice begging someone to help him, would be burned into my brain forever, and I would never forget it.

  Muffled words came from beside me, and I glanced up at William’s face, but I had no idea what he said. My mind refused to recognise the sounds, refused to tell me what he said. It was just a jumble, but the way he was looking at me made me think he expected an answer. He wanted me to say something to him, and I couldn’t.

  He wasn’t the only one looking at me, though. There were other people dotted around the room watching me. Their eyes burned into me, and some looked strangely familiar. I knew them, but I couldn’t figure out where we’d met before. Had they been there for the whole season?

  I didn’t have an answer to that question, but it didn’t matter. My vision started to fade as the dizziness consumed me, dragging me away from the world where I felt so terrified and powerless. I blinked, staring around the darkness, but I couldn’t see anything. Somehow, I knew where I was, though. It was the strange intersection between worlds that I’d visited before.

  A shaky breath escaped my lips, the noise echoing around the vast emptiness. My heart was still pounding, my mind still wracked with fear and guilt, but it was receding as I floated there, feeling the other worlds call out to me. I wasn’t sure which one to slip into, though. Part of me longed to go back home, to return to my reality and just be content with being in the car with my mom, but I knew I couldn’t do that.

  It wasn’t enough for me. Not anymore. I knew there were other worlds out there, other places that were so much more enchanting and thrilling than my real life. They were so different, and that was impossible to resist. How could I allow myself to be bored and restless when there were other worlds to explore?