Xoraxorel

  “I didn’t realize your sister was going to be there. Actually, I didn’t know you had a sister. You’ve never mentioned a sister,” Amber Orlet whispered, worrying that she’d forgotten a central cast member of her boyfriend's family. “ Or... maybe I just don't remember.”Amber checked herself in the car mirror for the sixth time in the 45 minute drive, once more testing her well practiced smile, as usual reminding herself to make sure it always reached her eyes. She’d heard a lot about Simon's parents, but never about-She couldn’t remember hearing about a sister. She swore he had never mentioned a sister. Finding the smile to be appropriate, she moved on. Yes, the smile was good, but she decided her haircut, a longish bob, had been a mistake.She’d gone for her regur cut yesterday and requested this instead, a lightning strike of impulse, the kind of behavior that hadn’t really occurred since moving in with Simon. An aberration in her usually hyper cautious personality. Yes, the hair had been a mistake, chopping off that much of her shiny, bck hair, it had shocked Simon, even if he eventually admitted it looked good on her.It was still a mistake, what if Simon’s parents or this newly introduced into the social equation sister, thought she looked like a boy? What if she embarrassed him?She peered deeper into the mirror, at the self she had constructed, seeking fws she might correct. Sometimes, when she was alone, she was capable of seeing that at 22 she was flowering physically, she was feminine. A little over two years of HRT and ser hair removal had done wonders. She’d lucked out with a body that was already slight, though she often still felt over sized some days, she was still working on it. The estrogen had given her face a pleasant roundness that with her big brown eyes and often nervous demeanor, gave her the vibe of a fragile maiden. She wished her breasts were bigger, but their constant ache was a reassurance that they were still growing.Early on in her transition she'd experimented quite a bit with makeup, had found some joy in it, but Simon preferred a more minimalist application, just enough to enhance her femininity, but not enough to be- Slutty, which was his choice of terminology.She wasn’t alone right now though and therefore there would be no reprieve, worse this sudden introduction of another new person she was going to meet, another member of Simon’s family she had to make sure to impress, one she knew nothing about, had sent her already fraught nerves to a near ecstatic state. But the possibility that her boyfriend had talked to Amber about her, this sister, this Madaline, and Amber had totally missed it or worse totally forgotten about her sometime in their nearly two year retionship, that was nearly unbearable.She wished she’d remained in their home and spent the day reading or watching anime or anything else, even going into work would have been better, but as his girlfriend there were certain social responsibilities that she had to make sure she accomplished. She couldn’t just freak out and abandon Simon. She just had to pull herself together and have a good time. It was too te anyway, the navigation on Simon's phone put them at two minutes out as his car crept through a rather nice neighborhood.Amber shut the mirror, closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths in and out, rolling her feelings into a ball and shoving them in the deep pce where she tried to contain such inconvenient things. Good, everything's good, awesome, it's fine, I’m fine. I am not going to mess this up. She looked in her p and found her jeans peppered with the torn scraps of a napkin; she must have picked it up and shredded it without realizing it. She hurriedly swept up the remains, discarding them in her empty coffee cup, before looking over to Simon, trying to find a little ground on which to stabilize herself, a little reassurance.Crew cut and professional looking, Simon kept his eyes locked on the road.Information instead then. She needed information.“So,” Amber tried, “What’s Madaline like?”“I told you about her like a year ago,” Simon said, his voice stern.Amber nodded. “I’m sorry." Another deep breath. She wished she could drop it, but they were all most there and she had to know something. "I... guess I forgot.”He nodded, running a hand over his mouth, “Madaline is... She’s my step sister.”“So your mom's, like your brother?”Simon had briefly mentioned his step brother, Micheal Mellor, once before, maybe half a year ago, saying only enough so she knew he existed. She didn't think she was meeting him today and thus far that seemed to be the pn.Cynthia Mellor, Tom Lockmann, Madaline Mellor, Amber thought, reciting the names, trying to get used to the idea of a third person she had to perform for. She imagined them as shadowy figures at a judges table for an athletics competition, ready to hold up numbered cards, pronouncing their approval or disapproval of her, Simon's girlfriend. “Yeah, she’s Cynthia’s," Simon said. "She moved in at the same time, high school. What’s she like? Well, she’s... I’m not too sure, she might have changed since I saw her st.” He paused, “Probably not, but if she’s anything like she used to be, she’s a lot, Madaline is a lot.” He paused again, “She’s trans like you. No, I take that back, Madaline is not like you at all.”Instead of stabilizing her, the received information unched Amber into an even worse crisis of confusion; how was it possible she forgot the fact that Simon had a trans sister?Her hands had found a new napkin, she only noticed at the sound of her fingers ripping into it. She swallowed another breath and set the napkin aside, she didn’t have time for this now, she couldn’t let this affect her performance, if Simon said he’d told her and she’d missed it, then that was on her.Then a thought:“Is… Madaline… Michael?”“Mmmhmm. Was,” said Simon.Amber snagged onto this, “Oh, did she recently start transitioning?”The idea made Amber feel better. If Madaline was just starting her transition then it might make sense if Simon hadn’t known or maybe Madaline had sworn him to secrecy.“We're here,” Simon said, pulling up to a home with a neat cut wn. Amber hadn’t received a proper answer, but with the tone of “We're here,” she knew the discussion was closed.Simon’s phone hummed. “Damn, hold on," he looked over the received message, shaking his head. "Give me a couple of minutes I have to send them an email, I swear the team can’t do anything when I’m gone.”Simon was in the lower management of a rge insurance firm, it was a good job with good pay, stable.Amber worked the te shift for a coffee shop sporadically across the week, they also kept her just below 40 hours so they didn’t have to pay health insurance. Then again not many good jobs had use for a skittish trans woman with half a degree. She was lucky to have Simon, she was lucky her life was going as well as it was. She could do this, she needed to do this.She sat in her seat, feeling like she was clicking up to the precipice of a roller coaster, any moment ready to drop. Instead of breathing like she’d taught herself to do, impulse struck again; the sign of a trend.‘I’ll just grab some stuff and take it to the door,” she picked up the overnight bag and the lemon cake she had picked out as an offering.She froze as Simon gnced at her. She waited as he considered it. “Yeah, that should be fine, go ahead. My dad should be right inside.”As she moved up the walk she suddenly became aware of how she was dressed, her clothes were conservative, appropriate, but also a little worn and baggy. It was the nicest she had, but she worried they wouldn't be good enough.No, these clothes are fine, Simon likes them, he said so, he bought them for me, they’re appropriate. It’s all fine, it's all fine they’ll be fine with me, if they accept Madaline, they have to accept me, right? I don’t need them to love me or like me, just as long as they- No, not doing this right now. It's too te. My hair is fine. My clothes are fine. They have to be fine. I’m fine, I have to be. With that settled her brain seamlessly jumped to a different issue, catching on the prepackaged cake she'd picked out as an offering.I shouldn’t have bought the cake, I should have baked one from scratch, that would have made a better impression. As she had this thought Amber did not consider her retive ck of interest in the field of baking from scratch. She reached the door and decided to stand there and wait for Simon. Yes, waiting would be a better idea, what had she been thinking, going inside by herself, just knocking and introducing herself to them? What if they-Someone had other ideas, Amber jumped slightly as the door handle arched down and the door swung in.Amber hadn’t had enough time or information to really generate a predictive image of Madaline, but whatever she might have conjured this wasn’t it, though the identity of the figure in the door could be of no doubt.“Oh thank Satan, cake, just when I’m in need of something sweet.” Madaline's voice was breathy, slightly sardonic and so rexed it bordered on bored. It was a voice to make the brain stutter, maybe even lock up. And if her voice didn’t pull it off, her height and beauty would.Of course, according to Amber, all women were beautiful, but a more specific word she might have chosen from her fairly respectable vocabury to describe Madaline might have been striking. There was wavy ash blonde hair, there was a face seemingly drawn with nothing but sshing lines, there were almond shaped green eyes and lips that even when set at neutral seemed just waiting for a chance to grin. And she was tall, she was taller than Amber, taller than Simon. Amber saw instantly that this was not a pre-transition trans woman. There was no way, this wasn’t even early days, Madaline and estrogen were old friends with only the cut of her shoulders and the size of her hands suggesting the influence of testosterone in her youth.She had long since settled into her femininity, it was one that embraced and cultivated a kind of comfortable androgyny. She wore no makeup, the only enhancement was her green painted nails. Her long limbed, wiry body stood confident and unguarded, wrapped up in a t-shirt featuring the Csh and a pair of tight, shiny leather pants. Not for the st time when considering the woman, the idea of a cat occurred to Amber, a rge cat, one that was comfortable going or even living outdoors. Madeline gazed at her, leaning against the door. “Hello?” she asked with a slight cough.“Hi,” Amber squeaked, her smile slipping onto her face out of sheer habit. Madaline nodded to herself, “Uhuh. You’re letting out the warm,” she said in a matter of fact tone.Madaline had left space for her to enter, but Amber's feet refused to take a step due to a non functioning brain, who's st received coherent protocol had been to wait outside for Simon.There was a slight snap in the air as Madaline cracked one of her fingers with the thumb of the same hand, before exhaling something that might have been either a simple breath or a tiny sigh.Amber jumped a little as Madaline stepped into the door frame, leaned down, and extracted both the bag and the cake from Amber's hands. She stepped backward and set them aside in the hall, leaving Amber on the stoop before returning for her.“Don’t be nervous,” she said, stepping out and moving around Amber. She pced a hand on Amber's back and gently led her through the entryway. “Hi-” Amber tried again, as she was enveloped by the home's warmth, desperately pleading for her brain to reboot. “I’m Amber. I’m-”“I know. I’m Madaline. So, you’re Simon’s test conquest?”Amber’s practiced smile faltered, but she caught it quickly, “Excuse me?” The hand at Amber's back vanished. “I’m joking.” Madaline shut the door slightly to keep the warm.“Um, Simon might be a second, he's got a work... thing...” Amber said, taking off her coat and putting it on the rack by the door. “Right,” Madaline said, picking up the cake. “It’s lemon.”“Interesting choice."Amber's face flickered slightly. "I’m sure it'll taste great.”“Oh, here he comes,” Amber said, looking out the window.Madaline put her hand against Amber’s back once more and gently directed her aside before opening the door.“Maddy?” Simon said as he came through, looking from Amber to Madaline with a reserved scowl.Madaline yanked on her middle finger producing a satisfying crack as she sucked sharply at her lip. "Hello Sim."Amber continued to smile politely, but began to rub at the slightly frayed elbow of her salmon sweater. “Where’s Dad and Cynthia?” Simon asked. “Tom and Mom are getting st minute provisions for dinner."“Hmmm,” said Simon, shutting the door and hanging up his coat. “This is Amber,” he said, as he came around behind her. "So she tells me,” Madaline waved a green nail at Amber, making her twitch. “Look at you, Simon, batting out of your league again.”“Is that another joke?” Amber mumbled, unable to stop herself. Well aware of the heated gre passing over head from brother to sister. “Yep.” Madaline gave her a soft smile.“Hardy har har,” Simon sneered.“Can I get you a drink to warm you up?”“Actually a beer would be great, Maddy, thanks.”“I wasn’t asking you, you know where it is and the full figure of my name.”Simon put his hands on Amber’s arms. “She doesn’t really drink.” “She is about to jump out of her skin. Nothing at all? Not a drop?”“I drink socially, but I don’t socialize that much,” Amber said, trying to tell her own joke. She was indeed about to jump out of her skin, part of her thought she might feel better if her skeleton could just pop out and run screaming around the room.Madaline produced a breath that served as a single note of humor. “In that case I’ll make you something light and sweet. I know a great recipe from a bartender I met in Sweden.”She disappeared into the kitchen, taking the cake with her.Propelled by curiosity, Amber followed behind her, sliding out of Simon's hands as she walked forward after Madaline. “You've traveled?”“A little, just got back.”Simon moved around them and got a beer from the fridge. "Wait till she tells you all about her m-" Simon grumbled softly, the contents of his words lost to the sounds of Madaline mixing a series of ingredients in a tumbler, when she turned back the contents were pink. She pressed the gss into Amber's hand with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, this isn’t a big deal, you’re doing fine.” The drawl had shifted just a little, leaving a warm calmative pressure across its consonants.Amber would learn that like herself, Madaline was well practiced at managing her voice, tuning it like a musical instrument.“Oh- th- thank you," Amber stuttered. She sipped the drink worried she might not like it and that the dislike might show on her face, that she'd come off as ungrateful, but it tasted like a red sucker and not alcohol. She drank more. “Wow, that's really good.”“I know,” Madaline smirked. “You wouldn’t believe the fun I had to have to get the recipe.”“Meaning you haven’t changed one bit,” said Simon.“Me? Oh no, I don’t change, year after year I just get worse.” The warm pressure flew away from her tone as her attention returned to her brother.Amber stepped back, there was such a weird tension between them, she definitely didn’t remember Simon mentioning a trans sister nor a strained retionship with any family member. “Xbox? Seems appropriate, raiding Dad’s liquor, the old Xbox is the next step.”“I never raided dad's liquor, just you.”Madaline cracked a knuckle and shrugged, then took down a bottle of an amber liquid and filled the first half of a pint gss. She led them back into the living room and hooked up the old machine. “Darkstalkers is still on here, 1v1 seems good.”“I’ve heard of that somewhere, but never pyed it,” Amber said. Don’t be rude, don’t talk too much. Just enough.“Capcom haven’t released a new one in years, still pumping out Street Fighter though, it's really disappointing, of course they keep pouring money into the duller of the two concepts.”Amber sipped more of her drink. She was surprised to discover that in spite of the sniping siblings, she felt better, she was getting to hang out with another trans woman for the first time and they were going to py a video game. That was good, that was solid ground, she could talk about games, she could py games. This situation was safe, she could manage this. She felt her regur knot of anxiety slipping, yielding before the slight tendrils of intoxication and the sound of Madaline’s voice.“I’ve never really cared for fighting games,” Amber lurched inwardly as the words came out, chastising herself for becoming so rexed as to actually say that.“Do you want something else?” Madaline asked.“No, no, this is fine,” she said hurriedly. She’d only pyed a couple of fighting games when she was younger and agreed with Madaline’s dismissal of Street Fighter, which was what she was actually trying to express. She sipped more of her drink.Madaline sat on the floor, her back to the couch with her legs crossed, taking a brave pull from what Amber thought must be whisky, before lodging the cup in her p.Amber slid down next to her.Simon settled on the other side sitting up on the couch.She’s so- Amber’s brain fumbled for the word and decided on the only one that fit. Cool. She's cool. Like cssic cool. Like riding a motorcycle cool. Like pying in a band cool. The siblings went first, Madaline selecting a beautiful bat winged woman while Simon picked a werewolf.Amber quickly found herself delighted by the old game’s odd combination of monster movie characters, anime style and Looney Toons physics.“So, how far along are you?” Madaline asked."How far along?" Amber gnced down at her half finished drink.“Your transition, how far along are you?”Oh god, my hair, my hair, my hair. I shouldn’t have cut it. “Two,” she mumbled, now squirming under the pressure of Madaline's question. She imagined a judge holding up a card with a big fat zero on it.“Fuck, I would have guessed more, well, you look fantastic. Your hair is so cute." The muscles in Madaline's left arm, the one closest to Amber, twitched once and went still. Amber blushed in relief, “Th-thank you.” Her internal panic immediately began to die out, like a candle fme denied oxygen. Simon shot a side eye at Madaline, preparing to say something, but was distracted as Madaline lost. “Fuucckkk,” she cried, extending the word as though she had suffered the grievous injury and not the avatar on screen, then passed the controller over to Amber. Amber hunted through the character select and picked out Felicia, the cat-girl. “Hell, consotion prize, I can’t help myself, don’t judge me.” Madaline excused herself to the kitchen as Amber and Simon pyed, returning with a wedge of the lemon cake. Amber wrinkled her nose at the thought of alcohol and cake, but Madaline took a bite and complemented Amber’s choice. “Yeah, that's just what I needed, plenty sweet, but citrusy and tart, this was such a good choice.”A pleased little rush ran through Amber, a little authenticity peaked out of her practiced smile. She focused on the game, sting long enough to get a feel for it and its mechanics before losing both rounds.She gave the controller back to Madaline.The siblings selected two new characters and went to war once more.“You’re not very good at this game,” Simon commented, going in for the attack, his victory making him favor an offensive strategy. “We pyed, what, a handful of times?” said Madaline dismissively.“A few.”Amber was half way through her drink, the initial overload on the doorstep aside, she felt more rexed around Madaline than she had felt around anybody since- well in a long time. She was actually enjoying herself, not just pretending to have fun, this was pleasant.Amber started as Madaline’s vampire transformed Simon’s rock star zombie into a woman.Madaline gnced at her, “I know right, we should all get it so easy. They should have left it in as an alternate skin.”“Probably not so easy back then, the skin I mean, it’s just the remastered game from the 90s,” said Simon, mashing his controls.Madaline blocked several blows while taking a quick gulp of her drink. “Uhuh. Simon, I need a favor. Big favor. From you to your loving sister.”“My loving sister who wouldn’t get me a beer when I got here?”The battle between them was fierce.“That’s me. I just got back to the US.”"So we've heard."“How long were you gone?” asked Amber, jumping in without consideration."Nine months, had a job, the job ended, but I have a new one, a good one, great pay, promotion in less than a year, I’ve even got a pce back in the city, a really nice pce."“Okay?” asked Simon, his lips bowed down in concern.The war continued.“The problem is I can’t get into this apartment for a few months, I got them to sign papers for me, one of my friends drew them up, it's guaranteed, security deposit and first two months down, but I’ve gotta wait until it's empty. I'm set on living there, but its going to be a few months before the current occupant finishes moving, meanwhile my job starts next week.”“I don’t like where this is going.”“I can drive all the way to the new job while staying here if I have to, but its a long drive and while I love Mom and Tom, I've hit my limit for this town, two weeks is one week too long, its just so fucking dull. Mom say's you have a free room, so I was hoping I could crash with you for a few months. She was going to ask, but I figured you’d prefer if I did it directly, because that would give you the opportunity to actually tell me no.”“No,” Simon said decisively, punctuated by a small ugh, as though the idea were the height of absurdity.“Yeah,” I figured.Simon shook his head.Madaline used the opportunity to win the first round and the second started.“Why don't you rent a room somewhere?”"All the options I found are year long leases and I'd end up paying two rents.""What about campus? Someone has to have an empty room.""In November?""Utility apartments?"“Can’t find an open one that isn’t a slum with a fresh coat of paint and I don't expect my luck to improve, it's not good for the soul, Simon.”“Or to-” Simon began, but stopped himself.A couple minutes ter he won the second round. “Look,” Simon said, “What about all those friends of yours, why not stay with them?”“I’ve checked and they are happy to have me stay and I’ll do it if I have to, but I really need a room to myself, so I can do work at home, not a series of couches to surf on.”“Is it work at home sometimes or work from home? I thought you said you wanted to stay so you could get to this job?”“I’ll have to go into the office several times a week, it would be way more convenient in the city than out here.”Simon started to say something but stopped, shaking his head.“Listen, mom made me promise that if you let me, I would be on my best behavior.”“What does your best behavior look like, Madaline, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it?”“That’s actually pretty funny,” Madaline ughed. Amber thought it was a wonderful sound. In the midst of the ugh Madaline lost.An intrusive thought slid through the cracks of Amber's brain, presenting in a voice she wasn’t used to, never mind her best behavior, what does her worst behavior look like?“You have a room, I have 450 each month and I'll throw in on groceries of course."He glowered and relented slightly. "How long?" "Probably at least three, six at most.""What?" he looked at her as though she'd demanded the flesh of his first born child. "Months?""That's what I said, a few months. ""That's not a few months, that's a quarter to half a year. No, fuck no." he shook his head in abject horror. "Alright, little brother, I can see you are a very savvy negotiator and I respect that. 525 and my best behavior, you'll get to witness it." "I'm not going to take the chance to find out how poor it is. No.""550 for a room for a few months. Cut me some sck, its been two years, this is a no brainer. I don't like you either, but it's easy money." “There’s a joke in there about you, but I’m not going to say it.”“ Ha Ha, slut shaming, so this is a hard pass then?” Madaline surrendered the controller to Amber who picked Felicia back out of the character select as she picked apart their conversation. Madaline's tone wasn't that of somebody who was pleading, instead she sounded primarily disinterested, as though she had already accepted the problems and inconveniences that y at the end of the inevitable conclusion of this conversation. Simon chose Victor. "Yes, it's a hard pass.”“Fine, thanks for considering it,” Madaline shrugged. Amber lost the first round, but by the time the second began she’d really found a feel for the game under her fingers and immediately began to perform exponentially better, losing herself in the flow of the controls.It was a desperate bout, but she won the second round by the scrape of her teeth.The third proceeded on more even ground, Amber pyed defensively, looking for opportunities to strike, then halfway through:“Simon, honey, she’s your sister, I mean,” she said slowly, “You can’t just say no.”“I did,” Simon side eyed her.Amber winced.They continued to trade blows, Simon battering her, Amber pying strategically.I should let it go, but- Madaline’s, p-“Are you like addicted to drugs?” Amber asked.“Not addicted,” Madaline drawled.The life bars whittled down back and forth.Amber took a deep breath and said softly, but firmly, “Simon, she’s offering money. You could pay your car off early if she’s with us for a few months, less interest. ”Simon seemed to consider this. “That’s true, but it's not worth-”“And, look, it can be hard to find good pces to stay, like... how I was really struggling when we met.”“It can be hard for trans women to find good pces to stay,” said Madaline, swallowing the rest of her drink. Even ones as amazing as us.” She affectionately elbowed Amber.The light casual contact made Amber’s stomach warm, the touch of worry that had begun to emerge when she’d began her argument melted a little inside that wonderful feeling. “Right," she id her head against Simon's leg as they continued to py. "What I’m saying is, if what she needs is an actual room shouldn’t we-”“Alright, fine. 575, Madaline, no bullshit and best behavior... No weirdness, no problems.”“No problems whatsoever,” said Madaline.“Nothing like- you know- what you-” said Simon.“Nothing like that.” Madaline gave a short sweep of her fingers.“Thank you, honey,” Amber said, darting over to kiss him on the leg.The hit Felicia took for Amber to deliver that kiss reduced her to a final increment of health, matching Simon.They danced after each other, a series of strikes and blocks outlined in paranoia, until finally Felicia delivered an unprotected kick to Victor’s head.Victor went down and stayed down as Felicia jumped for joy.“Hey, I won,” Amber ughed, hopping up and providing a reserved imitation of Felicia’s jubint movements. She caught how she was behaving and quickly settled back down to the ground.“Yeah you did,” said Madaline, nipping a bite of cake off her fork. “Good girl,” she purred.What happened when Amber heard those words, wouldn't fully register until much ter, it got lost in a sea of sensation; the lifting tide of slight intoxication, the thrill of victory crashing through her like waves, the bubbling sense of anticipation. It got lost.Not that it mattered, as things stood Amber would not admit what happened when she heard those words, not to herself, certainly to no one else.Of course it didn't happen, and if it did it didn't mean anything at all, because if it did mean something, that would be inappropriate. It would be inappropriate that for the first time in her life, at two simple words from Madaline Mellor, Amber Orlet's heart skipped a beat.

  Xoraxorel