I woke slowly, with a yawn wide enough to make my jaw pop. With a contented sigh, I nuzzled against my pillow and kept dozing. I was warm, but my neck was a little stiff. The familiar pressure of my projection had settled on my back, and that just made me sleepier. I was starting to drift off again, halfway back to dreaming, when I heard a yawn.

  I hadn’t yawned.

  Opening my eyes, I found myself staring at some red fabric. Amy’s shirt, and it was her arms around my back I belatedly realized. My cheeks heated, I must have fallen asleep when we were watching TV or something. It was off now, and I could hear the faint sound of an alarm. That sent a chill down my spine, but I quickly realized it wasn’t the one I usually heard in my head.

  “Mmph,” Amy grunted, and I felt her shift under me. She yawned, then spoke in a tired voice. “Good morning Lia, oh, Lia.”

  “Um, morning,” I mumbled. “Sorry, let me move and I’ll let you up.” Her arms tightened around me.

  “No rush,” she sighed. “It’s...nice.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I’m sorry, I said we’d go slow and now—”

  “When did you say that?” Amy asked.

  “Last night I—” Fuck. “I...didn’t. Sorry.”

  “Did you…” She paused, gaze flicking down. “Did you want to go slow?”

  “I sort of screwed that up,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Considering we’re already sleeping together.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “But, like, if you don’t want to actually, you know…? We don’t need to, it’s fine.”

  “I’m not ready for that conversation without coffee,” I groaned, pushing myself up and pressing a kiss to her chin. “Later. We have school and shit.”

  She let me go and I got up on unsteady legs. Stretching out, I felt my spine popping and winced. Sleeping on Amy, nice but not for my back apparently. Lesson learned, though whether I followed through on it… I shook my head and strode towards the kitchen. Needed coffee and breakfast, needed a distraction more.

  I felt like shit. Everything from cutting a couple slices of bread, to filling the coffee pot, to setting up the toaster was a pain and took longer than it should have. My head felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton, then had a bullet put in it. I started as the toast popped up. Burnt. The coffee was done too, sitting on the hot plate waiting to be served. I began pouring some into a mug when someone grabbed my back. I whirled fast enough the mug toppled to the floor and shattered.

  “Shit!” Amy shouted, leaping back.

  “Sorry,” I apologized quickly and grabbed some paper towel. I dropped to the ground and began wiping up the mess, cursing under my breath. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked shakily, kneeling next to me. “Give me your hand, let me check you out.”

  “I’m fine,” I snapped, pulling my hand away when she reached out. “Invincible. Just a clumsy idiot.” She stared at me, a concerned frown on her face. I felt my lower lip tremble and took a shaky breath. “Fuck.”

  Her arms wrapped around me as fresh sobs shook my back. I held her tightly, clinging to her like I was drowning. It only made things worse. I looked up and saw her soot-covered face staring back at me, unmoving. She asked me something I didn’t understand, and I just shook my head numbly, grieving for the girl holding me in her arms.

  “What were you remembering?” Amy murmured in my ear after I calmed down enough I wasn’t a total wreck.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “You,” I croaked, then coughed. “Dying.” She took a sharp breath.

  “Right,” she whispered. “Sorry.”

  “My fault, not yours,” I groaned. I sniffed, then pulled my head away from her chest, wiping my eyes. “Sorry, shouldn’t be bugging you this early about this shit.”

  “I...appreciate the thought,” Amy said, her arms holding me ever so slightly tighter. She offered a sad smile. “It’s okay Lia, really.” I took a shuddering breath, then sighed and nodded.

  “Thanks,” I managed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. “Sorry I fucked up breakfast.”

  “It’s fine, not like I’m paying for the mugs.”

  We shared a giggle, then I finally pushed myself up unsteadily, and Amy darted off. The toast was burned, but I managed to salvage a couple peanut-butter sandwiches from it. I grabbed another mug and, without an interruption this time, finished making a pair of coffees. Amy returned from the bathroom just as I was putting stuff on the table and I offered her a smile.

  “Two breakfasts, minus one mug,” I said, taking a seat. She sat across from me a moment later.

  “Thanks,” Amy said, going straight for her coffee. Of course.

  “Sleep okay?” I asked, taking a sip of my own. “Sorry I’m a little bony and stuff.”

  “No it was fine, it was…” She trailed off, taking another pull from her mug. “Fine. Just had a bad dream is all.”

  “Sorry,” I apologized again.

  “It wasn’t about you it was…” She mumbled into her cup.

  “Um, it was what? No, sorry, it’s fine if you don’t want to tal—”

  “It was about Victoria, okay?” Amy snapped, cheeks red.

  “Oh.”

  Of course, fucking idiot. I wasn’t Amy’s first choice, probably not her second, third, or eighth either frankly. And that was fine if...if she still wanted me. Even if I was in last place, I was still winning by merit of being here. I took a deep breath and a bite of my toast. Burnt.

  “Sorry,” Amy whispered a minute later.

  “It’s okay,” I replied reaching out and grabbing her hand. “It’s not like I didn’t know, Amy.”

  “Yeah but we’re like…” She swallowed and gripped my hand tightly. “We’re supposed to be...you know?”

  “Sure but like, doesn’t change how you feel.” I would always be second place at best. Had to accept it, couldn’t hold it against her because...because I couldn’t lose her again. “It’s not like you’re going to do anything, right?” She shook her head violently. “Then it’s fine.” It would be.

  “You’re not saying everything,” Amy said, shooting me an accusatory look. Fucking lie detectors…

  “Because it’s stupid and I’m trying to be less stupid,” I said. “Not gonna let something I knew about already get in the way.”

  “But it bothers you?” I shrugged. “Lia…”

  “You’re good enough at beating yourself up, you don’t need me joining in,” I countered, pulling her hand towards me. I ran my fingers over the back of her knuckles and offered a smile. “I like you enough that I can get over it. Trust me?”

  “If you’re sure...okay,” Amy said with a nod. “I swear I’d never do anything about that though. I...I fucked up once, that’s one too many times. And I don’t even know how bad it could have been, I don’t know if I want to know.” I grimaced and shook my head.

  “I don’t,” I replied, voice low. “I… You don’t do brains, but if you did I’d almost want you to make it so I didn’t. Sorry,” I added at the look of horror on her face.

  “I’m a—”

  “No, you aren’t,” I cut her off. “You’re not a monster Amy. You could have been, maybe, but you aren’t. Right now I’m the only one that even knows what it is, and I’ll take it to my fucking grave; and I don’t think you’re a monster. Okay?” She took a shaky breath and nodded.

  “Okay,” Amy said. “Thank you Lia, I...just thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said. What had she been about to say? “Okay, let’s just finish up or we’re gonna be late.”

  We scarfed down our food quick enough, then sat silently for a few minutes drinking our coffee. Despite the kind of shitty start to the day, this was kind of nice at least. Maybe if I could stop freaking out over tiny stuff, this could really work. Once we’d finished, I gave her a kiss and headed down to my quarters where all my stuff for school was.

  Well, I was awake if nothing else; either the coffee or the mild panic attack had done it. Now I had other things on my mind, since Amy wasn’t occupying it. First and worst: Behemoth. Even thinking about him sent a shiver down my spine, but I couldn’t afford to just quake in my boots, not anymore. Now I knew what happened, roughly, when he attacked and could at least be ready.

  Sunday, I’d warn the heroes that he’d be attacking Monday. A lie, but one I’d only tell because I knew I could predict where he’d appear; the when what slightly less important it seemed. I knew some of the tempo too, that it was a hell of a lot longer than the battle here against Leviathan. Maybe it was the number of capes, maybe it was the size of the city, maybe Behemoth was just a lazy asshole. Whatever the case, I’d only have one job in that fight and it involved a single cape...and it wasn't Phir Sē. So then, what to do about him? I wasn’t sure yet, but I was sure I’d figure it out.

  It wasn’t like I had a choice.