Some say that the true mark of mankind is the advent of technology and convenience, others say it is how man tamed the land and domesticated the great beasts, but the true mark of mankind is chaos. As I eased my trusty mule down from the top of the hill to the lamp lit crossing below, a cacophony of lights, noise and motion greeted me. I hated this place. If only new duds and iron nails grew on trees, that would be the life.

  It was evening when I came over the hill. The last rays of light backlit my entry, causing no good bystanders to stop and gawk. Haven’t they seen a mule before? The sign over the town gate proclaimed it to be the town of Dreamer’s Ridge. Painted below in black paint were the words ‘Where dreams are used for kindling’... Cute.

  The town was just as cheery as the sign promised. Bent over laborers passed each other wordlessly like ships passing in the night. Too busy watching their own stinking feet I say. Lamplighters mechanically replaced dun lamp posts with ones festooned in cheery flames and ladies of negotiable affection stared down from their windows and beckoned.

  It was too late to do any trade, so I hitched, Kieth the annihilator, my mule in front of the local inn, and got a room. The owner of this place and I had an understanding. I gave him a raw amethyst the size of a knucklebone a few years back in exchange for room and board for life. It was a good trade for both of us. Getting those things cut is such a hassle that it’s better just to use them for favors. After stabling Keith and stowing my bags, yours truly sauntered off in search of sustenance.

  My ambling search brought me to a brickwork pub two streets over. The sound of good company and the smell of spiced meat served as a beacon for my weary self. The clinking of glasses and the steady phosphorescent glow of sparkglass lights only served to quicken my steps.

  As I stepped into the pub, the smell of good food started to make my stomach rumble and I started to salivate. Eating nothing but dried jerky and trail rations can do that to a fellow. There was a me-shaped chair at the bar, it was so perfect that not sitting in it would be a disservice.

  The bartender, a squinty eyed man in an old fashioned leather apron sauntered over after mixing some fruity drink for the fellow on my left.

  “What can I do you for?”

  “You got any kor?”

  “Not out here on the edge. We just got a good dark lager in yesterday, want some of that?”

  “Sure. Can I get the house special as well? Smells divine.”

  “Hahaha. That it does, friend.” He signaled something to one of the barmaids and she headed into the kitchen. “Name’s William.” He held out a beefy hand to shake.

  “Rakesh.” I shook the outstretched hand jovially.

  “The Delver? What brings a man of infamy like yourself to a town like Dreamer’s Ridge?”

  “It’s the closest town to the ancient ruin I’m delving.” I answered with a wave to the north. “I ran out of supplies so I came down here to restock before I went for the prize at the bottom.”

  William’s eyes were flashing in excitement and I could tell he wanted to ask about my adventures in ancient ruins, but he was too polite to ask.

  “Tell you what.” I offered. “When I come by tomorrow night, I'll tell a few stories to any that”ll listen. I am too tired to entertain tonight.”

  William beamed from ear to ear in what thought was his equivalent of jumping up and down in joy. “That would be a delight! Don’t you worry about fare, your company is more than enough compensation.”

  The barkeep sauntered off to tend to his thirsty flock and I sat back and rested my tired muscles. The trip down strained my body and all i wanted was to rest with a bottle of something strong to warm tired muscles.

  “How am I supposed to feed my family at these prices Jordan?” A woman at a table off to my right asked her companion.

  “Don’t look at me! I’m no chicken farmer. Go ask those fellas over there. They have all the chickens.” Jordan pointed to a table set in an alcove.

  Bored, I followed the pointed finger and inspected the three men half-laying on it. They were covered in a mixture of sweat and hay; bottles lined the table next to them. These fellas had been through hell and back by the looks on their haggard faces.

  The woman replied. “Those no good… Three days those hooligans have been at the bottom of a bottle. Three days! What could have possibly gone wrong that they aren’t out there making a living like decent folks.”

  Just then, William returned with a plate of steaming food and an iron-bound wooden tankard. He placed it down with a clink and a swish, before looking over to the arguing couple. He shook his head in disapproval at their bickering and made to turn around.

  “Hold on there. What’s this about the chickens?” I hooked a thumb behind me. “Seems downright strange to me.”

  The barkeep screwed up his face as if he couldn’t settle on just one expression; I saw disgust, embarrassment, annoyance, and just a trace of fear. He covered his mouth with a hand and faked clearing his throat to school his features. When he spoke it was in a whisper. “Word is that there’s a monster out there in the mountains. They say it loves chickens and every night several go missing. Sounds like superstitious nonsense to me. This has been happening for, oh, almost a month now.” He pointed a finger at the three drunk chicken farmers. “Those poor souls are the one’s that got plundered first.”

  The barkeep leaned back and stared at the wall in preponderance. “The local lawman posted a bounty for the chicken thief, or thieves, a few days back. You could check there if you are wanting to know more. As for me, I am keeping out of it.” at that, he sauntered away again to once more serve his ever thirsty clientele.

  Curiosity sated, I dug into my delicious food and subpar beverage. The feeling of warmth and fullness that eating brought helped wipe away some of the day’s wear and tear. Before I knew it, the plate was empty and the mug refilled. i didn’t even notice the switch.

  Senses no longer focused on the feast, sound began to trickle in one ear long enough for me to hear before sliding out the other ear. Conversations weaved in and out in an unspoken competition to see which was the loudest. I only caught snippets of each.

  “They say it has golden eyes and rumbles as it walks; That it's lair is none other than old Broken Axel Mine!”

  ...

  “The price of bread is going to skyrocket I tell you!”

  ...

  “When do you think Joey is going to propose to me?”

  …

  I pulled my pocket watch out of my coat and checked the time. An hour till dark. That just left the question of what to do next. I decided to swing by this sheriff's office and read that notice. It sounded like the most interesting thing going on in these parts.

  The pocket watch was returned to it’s pocket and was soon replaced with my wallet. I counted out a few notes and placed them on the bar, I didn’t care what he said I was paying, before sauntering off. Once outside, I headed towards the great Sheriff Harry Channing’s combined office and jailhouse.

  As my footsteps tap tapped on the cobblestones, I found that I was actually fond of this little town. Sure, there were too many people here for me to consider moving this far south, but it was okay to visit every once in a while.

  The station was a large square building made from that fancy new liquid stone. What was it called again? Concrete? Yes, that was it. The building was made from concrete except for a wooden facade in front to make it look like a traditional sheriff's office. Personally, the mix of styles was rather repugnant but the people here found it more comforting than a strange stone box. Tacked onto the wall were several wanted posters for criminals or bounties for rare supplies. One notice, on the other hand, stood apart from the rest. It’s edges were worn from repetitive handling and the writing had been scratched out and replaced several times. The notice read.

  Wanted

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Chicken thief

  In the last month, more than forty chickens have been taken from their roosts. Reports claim that the perpetrator is holed up in Axel coal with said chickens. The perpetrator is known to come down at night with bright yellow lights and creates a roaring sound as he passes.

  Reward: 100 notes

  I stepped up to the sign and peered closely at the scratched-out words, curious about what wasn’t being said. After squinting my eyes and canting my head, just so, I could make out some of the words. Glowing eyes, bestial roar, size of an ox — it looked like someone took out all the superstitious parts, leaving only the facts. I snorted in amusement before turning to head back to my hotel room through the lamp-lit streets.

  Chapter 2

  The bed shook as a cacophonous symphony from hell swept through the room. Startled, I rolled to the side on instinct and promptly landed face first on the rough floor. Groan! Blink. After a second, to clear my head, I tried to look around for the source of the horrible noise; only, I couldn’t turn to face the origin because my legs were tangled in the blankets. Typical. Wait,

  I shifted my gaze towards the Starkeeper MK. II resting on my nightstand. Once the most accurate timepiece in the modern era, this Astrarium was a very sensitive piece of equipment. It took into account the position of the sun, Astra the moon, true north, Jacopo the sage star, and the clock's geographical position. That one glance reminded me that I had forgotten to calibrate it since leaving home three days ago. Distance calculations ran sluggish through my sleepy brain before I reached up and moved the inner dial two clicks to the right and one clockwise. It took a few seconds for the hands to move and settle in place; long enough for me to get untangled and on my feet.

  Now free, I turned towards the window. Yellow light pierced through the cracks of the wooden framing. I pulled the latch and swung them wide. The night sky shone black overhead but the clouds thing low and reflected that same bright yellow light. It was easy to locate, a great beacon in the distance. It was heading west from the foothills I had just crossed over the previous day.

  Curiously, I stuck my head out the open window to see if anyone else was watching the spectacle. At first, all seemed still, which was ridiculous. That noise could wake up a deaf man. My incredulity led to a more thorough search of the immediate area. That’s when I finally saw them. Windows unshuttered just enough for one to peek out or an ear to hear. These people were afraid. Once, deep in the uncivilized wilds of the rim, there was a tribe with a murderous chieftain. Every couple of nights, he would roam the streets in a crazed stupor, screaming like a mad man. These people here were behaving just like those villagers.

  Disgusted, the shutters slammed shut from my forceful shove. If these people were too frightened to defend themselves, then they deserve to be robbed. The Starkeeper ticked softly where I left it. The sun hand proclaimed it to be two in the morning, and the moon hand pointed towards the dark of the moon. The darkest night of the thirty-five day moon cycle. Astra wasn’t out tonight and it was still that bright outside? What kind of light is that?

  No, not my monkey, not my circus. I was just here for supplies. I was going straight home after that, no detours. The bedding was still on the floor, so I shook it out and laid it down to sleep. It took a while, but the sandman finally came and carried me to the land of dreams on a yellow cloud made of light.

  Chapter 3

  The next morning found me in the local general store, red-faced, arguing with the proprietor vociferously. I had been shocked when upon entering, that I had just entered the den of a miserly scalper. Everything was priced at nearly double the normal price range for this reason and half the shelves weren’t even stocked. The few basic grains and staples that were in stock looked to be on the older side, nearly spoilt.

  “If this is the kind of business you run, old man, then it’s no wonder that I am your only caller this morning! I say caller because I am certainly no customer of this… pigpen!” I shouted at him.

  “Good luck finding another general store in better shape! I have the most well-stocked shop in twenty kilometers!” The aged shopkeeper was red-faced and wrangled his worn leather apron as if wishing to strangle someone.

  “Preposterous!”

  “Ahh, but it's true stranger! We haven’t had a shipment up here in nigh on a month now. That chicken thief is scaring off all the merchants.”

  I put my face in my palm and counted to ten. I knew what came next.

  “Say, if you were to make our little problem, I don’t know, disappear. Then maybe, just maybe, I could convince a merchant caravan to come up. There’s one owned by a friend of mine that’s camped two towns to the south, just waiting to hear some good news.” He stopped to look me in the eye, as I had dropped my hand to give him all of my attention.

  “There’s a discount in it for you if it gets done tonight.” He sweetened the pot when his first offer failed to impress.

  “15%” I offered flatly.

  “5%” he countered.

  “13%”

  He sighed in resignation. “I can offer you 10% and first pick of my next shipment.”

  “Deal!” I exclaimed before he could think about it too hard. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a chicken thief to catch.”

  Chapter 4

  When the sun reached the western rim that evening, I was ensconced in an alcove near the entrance of Broken Axel mine. After grabbing my delving bag, I had headed up the foothills to survey the perimeter for anything of note and to get the lay of the land. This alcove was the spot that gave both a good view and cast a dark enough shadow to hide me from that ghastly yellow light. That decided, I settled down to wait.It didn’t take long.

  Soon after settling down on my perch, the unmistakable sound of large machinery burst from the mine and echoed through the foothills. It was as I had suspected. The noises last night were too even and rhythmic to be a living creature. I had heard of bioluminescent moss in my university days, but eyes that light up the night sky…really?

  The machine noises started out uneven in a way that made my teeth ache but, minute by minute, it evened out to a loud purr. Sitting up here, waiting, gave me some time to ponder on the motivations of this chicken thief. Large machinery like that would be incredibly expensive to fuel and maintain. Why would someone with that kind of money come out here to a bordertown, of all places, to steal chickens? It didn’t make any sense. A bright beam of yellow light speared out of the mine’s entrance, my pondering was over. It was time.

  Chug! Chug! The beam widened as the source of the light approached the exit. A few seconds later, a strange metal carriage, with giant electrical lights bolted to the front, appeared. It picked up speed as it emerged and soon enough, it raced off down the old road towards Dreamer’s ridge.

  With a toss, the one end of the rope that I had fastened down earlier fell to just a few inches above the entrance. Perfect. Quickly, I shimmied down and landed a few feet to the side. I hunkered down to listen for any activity inside. Silence. Silently, I lit a shuttered lantern from my kit and slunk inside.

  Broken Axel mine was much like any other mine. Square hallways braces regularly with rough lumber or steel beams. The walls reflected what little light I allowed to leak out of the lantern. Overlapping Wheel tracks and footprints led into the distance, pointing the way.

  Three junctions came and went as I followed the trail. What few footprints that ventured that direction were old and had a layer of coal dust on them, so getting flanked was not a major concern. After the fourth junction, a faint light ahead outlined most of my approach. Luckily there were still enough shadows to hide a very short person, or at least someone who was willing to stoop, a lot. Ugh, this is so undignified. With no further ado, I shattered my lantern, held it in my teeth, and crawled towards the opening ahead on all fours.

  The chamber ahead must have been a natural cavern once. Several walls were completely free of tool marks and it was shaped a bit like a legume. Machinery of unknown purpose, I'm not an engineer, was set up haphazardly on one side and a giant chicken coop was set up on the other. Openings in the back led to what I believed to be living quarters, at least the footprints showed a lot of traffic back there and I didn’t see any beds. Most importantly, it was empty.

  Once in, I silently unstrapped Woe, my faithful cudgel, and circled the perimeter of the room carefully. After failing to detect any traps, I listened to the two side tunnels but all was quiet. The first tunnel led into a kitchen and mess, there was nothing useful so I headed down the other. This was their sleeping quarters. I counted three standard sleep rolls that all frontiersmen use and an ornate bed with a carved wooden frame, complete with curtains.

  The chicken thieves were going to be gone for at least an hour if they stuck to their pattern, so I exited the mine to grab my delve bag and headed back to the main chamber. These people liked surprise, well I’ll give them a surprise.

  Chapter 5

  As the sound of the mechanical cart reached my ears, my fingers were trying the final knot. This was going to be fun. With a snicker, I got into my hiding place behind some metal barrels. Whall setting up, I checked the contents of each and found distilled kor inside them all. By my guess, they were using the distilled ordu liquor to power their vehicle. Before leaving towards the rim, I heard about combustion engines that used gasoline as fuel, but they were costly and stank like rotten eggs. Kor not only burns slower than gasoline but it also does so more thoroughly.

  As the mechanical wagon entered the cavern, it headed straight for its parking spot. With a squeal of its breaks, it stopped. Just where I wanted it.

  There was a commotion aboard as the men aboard rushed about, turning valves and flipping switches. Three of the men were dressed in the drab canvas and leather that was common among frontiersmen. Their hair was cut short and their beards trimmed neatly, which was strange as long beards and hair were the norm for these kinds of men. The final man was immaculately dressed in a white and orange pinstripe suit which was not flattering when in contrast with his pale skin and wavy blonde hair. He sat in front of a wheel that resembled a ship’s wheel without the knobs, directing his minions with flourishes of his ivory cane.

  I let their speech flow over me since it was all technical machine talk until one of the minions finally said something interesting.

  “So boss, now that we have all these chicken… what now?” One of the men asked roughly.

  “Yeah, boss!” Another chirped. “What we gonna do now?”

  Silence reigned as the horribly dressed man seemed to deliberate. Mind you, I couldn’t see much and he had his back to me. When silence had gone beyond tense and was comfortably in awkward territory, the man moved. With a dramatic flourish, he stood on the back of his chair and stuck a pose. Oh, God! I thought. Not another one!

  “We, my fellow gentlemen are going to get our names written down in the very annals of HISTORY! Starting tomorrow, we will start ransom ing back these chickens while making our name known far and wide as the greatest band of gentleman thieves in the entire Rim.” He gave a mighty wave to accentuate his claim. “After our first success, we will move on to better and greater things… I have plans, gentleman, great, wonderful, sweeping plans like no man has ever dared before! For we are… The TRASH PANDAS!”

  I facepalmed in my hiding spot. Of all the animals to-. Has he ever seen a raccoon? If you put one in a locked room with this idiot I would bet my last credit on the ‘coon. Seeing this rich kid prance brought back some embarrassing memories of my own youthful escapades. Did my elders look down upon me as I do him? Well, if allowed, this kid could use another chance. That’s when the first trap sprang and the time for introspection was at an end.

  “Ahhh!” one of the henchman, this one hadn’t talked much so I will call him Tightlips, flew into the air ankle first. When he bounced off the ceiling, the rope holding onto his ankle slid off. SLAM! Oof… might have made those traps too strong.

  I sprang up onto one of the barrels I was hiding behind and held Woe aloft to let them know I meant business. “None of you move!” I asserted! “Any of you that steps of that…vehicle will meet a similar fate as your friend over there.”

  My warning was unnecessary as the three remaining men were all frozen in abject horror as they watched their prone friend. One of them had a foot frozen halfway down to the stone, he quickly retracted it after hearing my warning. The leader flourished his cane at me as if he could reach me and bristled visibly.

  E“How dare you ambush us in our own hideout curr! We are a mighty band of gentlemen thieves and do not take umbrage with your buffoonery! Release your traps at once or prepare yourself to face my wrath!”

  Silence. I just placed the business end of Woe down at my feet and leaned casually against it. “No, I think I am just fine right here. If you wish to join me, feel free to step down.”

  No one moved. Good, because I wanted to take them alive. The leader sat down and was visibly going through all his options as they were written all over his face. It was adorable. Several minutes passed before he deflated and threw his cane to the ground, where it set off another rope trap that flung it out of sight.

  “I surrender!” He hissed bitterly.

  “What’s your name kid?” I asked.

  “Mason Stonelevel”

  Mason’s goons goggled at him when he admitted to his family name. Indeed it was an impressive one if I recalled correctly. Central politics were something I strictly avoided nowadays but I remember the Stonelevel family becoming the richest family in the metal trade during my youth.

  “Well, Mason, first you are going to return everything that you have stolen and reimburse these poor people for all the grief you caused them.”

  He gave me a baleful glare as if to say that my follow-up had better be good or he was going to take his chances with my traps. “Then what?”

  “Then you are going to come with me and I will help you build that reputation that you so desperately desire.” I gave him a wide smile, everything was going according to plan.

  The end