Have you ever thought about having super powers? The ability to fly, super speed, invincibility or any of the other cool powers you see in the comics or movies? I’ve thought about having power for as long as i could remember, having a cool ability that only i can do, something so unique, so life altering, that it makes living life without it as dull as a butterknife. That would be the way for me since I've always dreamt of having the ability to go wherever I wanted either via teleportation or by making portals or maybe using telekinesis to make a platform under my feet so I can travel to anywhere I wish… basically I wanna go places!

  These thoughts constantly plague my mind making me wish, just for the life of me to at least get a taste of having a super life, a life of power, a life of freedom from the chains of societal structure and government restrictions, a life carefree where I can do as I please!

  But here I am, a twenty four year old, 5 '10 "African American male who’s a bit on the hefty side of things, chillin on the couch in my apartment watching some unremarkable news on Metube about a guy jumping off a 10 story building claiming he could fly or something. This is the tenth time this week someone has done something crazy like this, i think there’s some sorta cult activity goin on but either way, it’s got nothin’ to do with me.

  I don't have much going on in my life, I mean sure I'm a manager at Walmarket and make livable wages, got a few friends to play dungeons and dragons with on saturday nights, depending on if enough people show up or if the Harmony connection ain't buggin’. I also have my lovely lil Border Collie called Sadie, I took her in after her previous owner, a relative of mine, passed away a few years back.

  It took her some time to get used to me, but after a while she eventually started following me everywhere I went and we'd roughhouse whenever. She's just the best really and I would do anything for her.

  I admit I have it pretty good and It's not like I don't appreciate my life, I just wish for something More, A little pizzazz, some spice to my monotony y'know?

  Anyway, enough rambling on about my woes, it’s about time I get up and join the rest of the group for dnd tonight and see what kind of shenanigans they’re up-to.

  “Hey hey guys im back!”

  “About damn time man! We were beginning to think you weren't gonna show up, Eli.” Bruce said, a tad bit impatient.

  “Yea sorry ‘bout that, I was just watching the news about another looney case jumping off a building.” I explained.

  “Yo what’s up with that anyway,” Mark said while sipping some soda. “Some kinda suicide squad or somethin’? Y’know there’s been word of those people not hitting the ground.” He exclaimed.

  “That’s bullshit and we all know it!” The Dm Arthur said doubtfully. “It’s probably some PR stunt for a movie.”

  “A pr stunt all around the world? Doubtful, there’s gotta be something else going on, I can just feel it, this might just be a crazy conspiracy theory but do you think the government has a hand in all this? Maybe released some sorta coo-coo gas?” I said

  “Man I don't give a damn as long as it's got nothin’ to do with me, any fucking way can we get started? I've been waiting for TWO WEEKS since Mark over here decided that going on a vacation to Hawaii was better than slaying imaginary dragons with his comrades.” Bruce said pointedly.

  “I tried to join up guys I swear, it's just the wifi at the hotel I was staying at wasn't of the best quality, I couldn't join an online chess match even if I tried.” He said, frustratedly. “At least the beaches were beautiful.”

  “Yeah y'know what else would have been beautiful? The barmaids serving us some ale after we got back from our quest!” Bruce exclaimed excitedly.

  “Uhh dude, y'know this is just imaginary right? Not like the “barmaids” are actually serving you.” Mark said

  “He does have an active imagination.” I said.

  “They're real to me! The bwila’s! They call to me! Can we get this game started already!” Bruce said impatiently.

  “All right, all right, keep it in your pants Bruce, we'll get started right now. Ahem, who remembers where we left off?” Arthur waited for a response.

  The call was as silent as a church mouse

  “Ugh, guys c'mon, please tell me at least one of you has better memory than a goldfish?” He questioned.

  Again the call was pregnant with the sounds of silence, that is until I spoke up.

  “You should know by now that we can hardly remember the last time one of us ate, let alone what happened two weeks ago, why don't you jog our memory.”

  “Well alright, you bastards are lucky I keep notes. Why don't we start with you then, since you asked, it appears that when we left off, you were currently alone in a section of the dungeon, since you had the bright idea to go off on your own, splitting the party and getting lost in the process, you've found yourself in the middle of a fork in the hallway getting ambushed by a figure not unlike yourself coming from the right path. In fact, this figure had on your clothes, down to the same unlaced, dirty brown boots and unkempt hair, looking exactly like you. The figure approaches you slowly, what do you do?”

  “Hey why is my hair messy? In my character description I specifically stated that he has good clean hair!”

  “Yeah and how many adventures have you gone on without taking a bath in between?”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, you filthy heathen, you're lucky that's all I had to say about your character now what do you do? While you were questioning your own hygiene, the figure got closer to you, and as it did, it stepped into the light of one of the sconces on the wall and you can see more clearly the visage of the figure. That it appears to have all your features down to the last minute detail.”

  “Oh boy what am i gonna do- wait, is it not attacking me? You haven't made me roll for initiative yet?”

  “The creature comes to a stop shy of five feet from you and does nothing but look into your eyes, longingly.” Arthur said sarcastically.

  “Ugh, why'd you have to say longingly, anyway, I raise my left hand in the air to call upon my magicks to attack.”

  “The creature does the same, mirroring your action though without producing any sort of magick that you can see, are you sure you want to attack?”

  “Huh? Ohh ok, is this one of those things where if I do something the creature pretending to be me does the same?” I say inquisitively.

  “Well i don't know, how bout you figure it out instead of being a murderhobo for once in a campaign?” Arthur said with a bit too much venom in his tone.

  “Jeez fine fine, uhh, oh I know! I jump up in the air three times while singing "All eyez on me.”

  “The creature does the jumping just fine, but when it attempts to sing, all that comes out of its mouth is putrid stank and gurgling noises, it seems to have even mimicked your poor oral hygiene as well as a lack of musical talent.” Arthur chuckled briefly.

  Laughing merrily, Mark says. “Oh damn he got you good there bud, maybe you should leave the charisma based actions to me.

  “Hoho man, I didn't know we were having a piss poor talent contest, so far the creatures doing better than you!” Bruce said with hearty laughter.

  “Hey hey! Piss off! I'm just tryna see what this thing can do alright, jeez, fuckin’ hell man, alright i cast firebolt towards the wall.”

  “You generate a flash of bright heat in between your hand as a palm sized flame appears flickering with intensity until you make a finger gun in the direction of a wall, and in an instant that flash leaves your hand and collides with the wall, uhm which wall did you hit perchance?” Arthur said with a tinge of worry.

  “The wall to my left?”

  “Damnit. Ahem as your bolt of fire collides with the wall, some of its brick and mortar gets displaced enough to reveal something behind it.”

  “Whaaaa, ayyy lets fucking go! Wait, what about this thing?”

  “Yeah, it tries at copying your spell but when it does, it's not as bright nor as flashy as when you did it, almost looking like a tiny ember compared to your bolt, it launches its ember towards its left, and the ember moves at a snail's pace towards that direction, landing upon a cobweb and igniting it instantly.”

  “Hmm I thought it couldn't use magick? Guess I was wrong, and it doesn't appear to be immediately hostile. It might not be the most useful in combat, but I'm willing to bet that this guy is the key to some puzzle or something… Imma find a way to use you to your fullest potential and cheese the hell out of this in the meantime! Let's see if it follows me, I go towards the hole in the wall and push the bricks out of my way to go through.”

  “The creature, not wanting to be left behind, eagerly follows you through the hole.”

  “Heck yeah! I wonder if it understands commands, but first, can I make a perception check to see what's in this room?”

  “Sure, go ahead and roll perception for me.”

  I grab my minimalist green d20 and give it a lil kiss for luck before I throw it into my dice bowl, it rolls for a bit before landing on the number. “Twelve, is twelve good?”

  “Don't forget your modifiers.” Arthur sighed.

  “Oh yeah! Thanks dm, where would i be without you to remind me! Now let's see, with modifiers that twelve is now a sixteen, does that let me see into this room?”

  “Well if you brought a torch, you wouldn't have had to roll but that's just me. Ahem, As you peer into the room, you discover a corridor that could lead anywhere to your left, but to your immediate right, you discover a chest.”

  “Oh hell yeah! Let’s see what's in it, wait couldn't I just have mini me do it? Well he’s not exactly mini since it seems he's my exact copy so he’d have my same height, but anyway let's see if he can open it. Hey you, open that chest for me.”

  “The creature does a poor job at imitating your speech patterns, still sounding like a garbled mess instead of doing what you wish it to do.” Arthur tells me.

  “Damn, ok what do I gotta do to make it obey me?”

  The dm shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn't know, or is just reticent to tell me. I look at my other friends on call and they all give me the same look of “I don't know, figure it out.” So I decided to do a bit of brainstorming. I think for a moment on how to get this guy to do what I want, I figure, why not act it out and see what happens. So I use the spell mold earth to make a chest like shape.

  “Y'know that's not how that spells supposed to be used right?” Arthur said

  “I don't see no harm in it, I'm just using it as an example to teach my friend here tis all.” I said with as much innocence as I could muster.

  “Hmph, fine I'll allow it, go ahead.”

  “Thank you sir! Now I act out me opening this fake chest and point at the chest for him to open it.”

  “Yeah imma need you to roll performance for that one bud.”

  “Fudge! Really?”

  “I mean i don't have to let you roll and just say your acting made the creature want to leave you y'know, I'm just giving you a chance to succeed by rolling, plus i know how shit your charisma score is so this should be fun regardless.”

  “Well thanks for the encouragement, dickhead.”

  “What was that?”

  “Oh nothing, you're such a benevolent and just Dm.”

  “That's what I thought you said.” Arthur said smugly.

  “Classic dm tyranny at its finest” Mark said shaking his head

  “Shhh it's getting to the good part!” Bruce said while munching on a bowl of popcorn vigorously.

  “Man i have such good friends, any-fucking-way imma roll my performance.”

  I grab my green d20 and give it a lil kiss for good measure before I toss it into the dice bowl, where it rolled away for a minute, clattering about until it finally calmed down landing on a. “18! Woo baby! That's what I've been waiting for! With my modifier of 1, that gives me 19.”

  He sighs. “Alright you end up doing a pretty damn good job at acting out what you want the creature to do, so without much pause the creature goes over to the chest and attempts to open it… but little did either of you know that the chest was a mimic! The mimic leaps up in the air sprouting gangly arms and legs coming to a height just short of 8ft tall, it has to hunch over just to fit in the space, and its visage is frightening, so much so that your new friend is standing motionless. The mimic reaches for the creature, what do you do?”

  “Oh fuck! Who could have seen that coming! Oh wait, Me! That's why I had the creature do it… I really should come up with a better name for him if he survives this encounter. Alright I'm gonna cast Fireball- wait no wrong spell, I mean to cast Earthen grasp!”

  “Oh so you CAN think ahead, alright let's see here… the mimic failed its saving throw, it is now restrained, roll 2d6 and what're you gonna do with your bonus action?”

  I roll 2d6 and to my surprise I nearly roll max damage getting an 11.

  “Nice, that's the highest you've ever rolled for damage in ages!” Bruce said excitedly.

  “Yeah, good rolls man.” Mark said in a slightly chipper tune.

  “Thanks guys, y'know, i'd like to thank the academy for my successes in life and-”

  “Would you please get on with it!” Arthur said with only the slightest tinge of irritation,

  “Ohhh ok well i guess i've waited long enough to use this spell that i never get to use, waiting in my repertoire collecting dust. Ok I walk up to my friend and cast dragon’s breath on it and tell it to aim at the mimic!”

  “Ohh yeah i forgot you had that spell, why haven't you ever used that on me?” Bruce said pointedly.

  “That's because you're a front line fighter and I have to touch you in order for me to cast it. I ain't goin in there just to get clapped! I like not getting clapped! And don't you say anything either mark, you're always too far for it to work.”

  “Hey i wasn't gonna say anything” Mark said with his hands up.

  “Shuddup guys, ok so you cast dragons breath, i'm actually proud you remembered you had that spell, sadly its a concentration spell and you're already concentrating on earthen grasp.”

  “Damn, you're right, if only I was wearing an item that allowed me to concentrate on two spells at once, then this would be easy peasy.” I looked at the dm with the most cheeky smile I could muster as I watched his face contort into anger at the realization as he read my character sheet.

  He grumbled. “Fuck you, you forgot that you could have casted fireball without hurting the creature with sculpt spells.”

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  “I said I cast dragons breath, or are you hard of hearing?” I said with a toothy grin.

  “Ugh fine, you cast dragons breath, what energy type are you using?” He said much to his chagrin.

  “Why fire of course.” I say smiling ear to ear.

  “As you channel your spell within the creature, a bright, burning red energy courses through your hands into it, as his veins ignite in blazing fury, waiting for the order to release this pent up power. What is your command?”

  “Consume my enemies in a raging inferno!” I say as if I've practiced this line for at least 30 minutes.

  “At your command, the creature opens its mouth and out comes a fiery deluge of dragon's breath, bathing you and the mimic in it's intense heat, but only the mimic suffers the scorn of the flames as it's screeches start to sound like a demonic entity being baptized in holy water. You smell it's flesh being cooked as it continues to writhe in agony and sizzle to nonexistence. You see that it's chest parts begin to burn away, dropping what appears to be some quality loot. I'm not gonna make you roll for damage on this one, the creature was already near dead with the first attack since this was a young mimic, I suggest you pick up the loot and gtfo before it's mother comes after you.”

  “Wait wait wait wait wait What! You mean to tell me that was just a child that I just killed with fire!” My hands on my head in shock.

  “Yes you dunderhead it was just a youngling, you're lucky it isnt the proper mating season for these things yet otherwise you would have been overwhelmed and over-fucked, now i suggest you get a move on unless you wanna write up a new character sheet.” Arthur said exhaustedly

  “Cluck all that noise! I'm getting the hell outta here! Not before grabbing all the loot I can first hehe.” Rubbing my grubby hands in the process.

  “Ye cheeky bugger you, i loik wot yous tinkin mate.” Bruce said, adopting the worst British accent imaginable.

  I looked at him on call with a face of trying to hold in my laugh and disgust at the same time.

  Mark said in between rib splitting laughter. “You do know your character ain't British at all in the slightest right?” Still holding his sides.

  “Whatya mean ain't british? I can make my character talk however i please and this is how I want him to sound right now. Ahem, if ye got a problem, then come solve it mate!” Bruce said with enough vim and vigor to sound right in his cause even if a bit goofy.

  “Alright whatever, let him have his fun, he's still trying to get a hang of the roleplay aspect of things, anyway, Eli, you grab all the loot, which way do you egress to?”

  “Well considering there was only one way to get here before i accidentally broke that wall back there, i assume the mother is somewhere down that long hallway sooo i'm just gonna go back through the hole and take my chances down the right side of the fork where the creature came from right?” I said with certainty.

  “Well as you start to leave the broken wall, you hear the sounds of a thunderous roar as something is approaching at a quick pace from behind you! What do you do?” Arthur said while putting on some intense combat music to set the mood so to speak, starting at a low volume.

  “Oh shit, oh fuck! Is that the mother already!? Oh hell nah, I grab my friend's hand and we rush towards the right fork expeditiously!” I say with panic laden in my voice.”

  “Excellent, because of your rushed maneuvers you might trip! Quick make a dexterity save!” Arthur said with a bit too much excitement.

  “What really? right now?” I say exasperatedly.

  “Well if you'd like to automatically fail just say that.” He said with a crooked grin.

  “Oh for fucks sake fine, here!” I grab my green dice again, praying to high heaven i succeed this roll… And as luck would have it i fucking roll a 2! With a modifier of 2 so I got a 4 in total.

  “Ooof…” Bruce said, still munching eagerly on his popcorn.

  “Ouch! This ain't gonna be pretty.” Mark said with a wince.

  “Yikes… yeah you might wanna start working on a new sheet while your character tumbles to the ground like a sack of potatoes, cuz the mother is coming after yo ass!” Arthur said with a shit eating grin to his face, chuckling like a douchebag.

  “Fuuuuuuck!” But suddenly a bright idea came to me. “Say, dm?”

  Still gahyucking vigorously with some coughs inbetween. “Yeah wassup bud?”

  “You said I tripped and fell, is my creature friend still up?”

  “Yeah, why?” Arching an eyebrow.

  “Am I currently in combat right now?”

  “Not at the moment but you will be soon.” He said, not fully understanding what I'm getting at.

  “And you said the mother was rushing towards my position but has yet to make it through the crack in the wall right?” My voice is doing it's best not to give away my plan too early.

  “Yeah… look whatever it is you think you're gonna do just get on with it already, you're probably gonna die anyway.” Still as smug as ever, good.

  “Hehe, oh ye of little faith my dear muppet, i cast grease on the floor at the hole in the wall!”

  “Seriously, that's your master plan? You're gonna waste your action to cast grease? Okay fine, you cast grease over there, now what?”

  “Well technically i'm not wasting, you'll see, i would like to stay on the floor but also hold onto my pal here and tell him to look in the direction of the hole.”

  “Sigh, alright it's your funeral.” Arthur shrugs his shoulders on call.

  Mark starts getting giddy because he knows what's about to go down.

  “What’re you getting all uppity about?” Bruce said.

  With a devious smile, Mark said “Hold on, let him cook!”

  After a brief moment of fiddling with the music volume. “You hear loud and heavy slapping sounds against cold hard cobblestone that could be heard getting closer and closer until the mother of the baby mimic you slayed comes barrelling through the hole to get at you!” Arthur exclaimed.

  “Tut tut tut, that big bitch has to make a dexterity saving throw, at disadvantage!” I say proudly.

  “Pshh oh ok, still doesn't mean you're safe, and besides this monster has pretty good dexterity, I'm sure it'll pass.”

  Arthur picks up his nefarious black and red skull dice and looks at me with a sadistic grin. “This is for splitting the party!”

  He rolls his dice and it lands on a 19 with a modifier of 5. “Yes! I told you you're screwed,” He laughed maniacally. “Go ahead and make a new character, you'll be meeting the party at some back water tavern when mama mimic tears you to shreds!”

  “Heh it's not a nat 20, roll again ass-clown.” I said assuredly.

  “Huh? Fine, you're really just delaying the inevitable, it's not like it's gonna roll anything lower than a-.”

  As he picks up and rolls his dice again, it lands on a beautiful and resplendent Nat 1. Arthur's eyes grow wide in fear.

  “YES! You crazy sonofabitch, you did it!” Bruce said excitedly pumping his fist in the air spilling some popcorn.

  “Woooo baby! That's what we've been waiting for, that's what it's all about!” Mark cheered, nearly jumping out of his seat and knocking everything over.

  “Ughhhhh Ok ok everyone shut up! Sigh, mama mimic falls down Hard, hitting her chest-head on the ground falling prone, ughh let me roll a constitution save real quick… fuck a damn 3 seriously! Ok yeah mama mimic is knocked unconscious for 3 turns and takes 1d10 fall damage which turns out to be… 9, it takes 9 damage as it falls, fucking hell.” He said all the while gritting his teeth and clenching his dice like he's about to toss em into an incinerator for betraying him.

  “Heh, you know how long I've been waiting for dis? To see that smile you usually sport when you think you've won, only for it to turn upside down as you begin to realise something… the stench… that repugnant odor that only you can smell, as defeat clings to you like a marred record on your college test scores even after trying so hard.” I say after a brief pause for dramatic effect.

  “To know that i did not merely come here to our dnd sesh to just play and fuck around, no… I came here to win!” I shout at the top of my lungs. “I upcast dragons breath to the 5th level using fire as the damage type and telling my friend here to aim at mama mimic laying haplessly on the floor!”

  I channel my devastating dragon's breath spell to my creature friend. Where my hand has grasped it's ankle, a smoldering heat begins to radiate at the spot, climbing up the body of my lookalike through the veins, igniting every blood vessel with it's skin charring to a crispy black as cracks of violent glowing red energy pulse throughout. As this swell of power reaches the lookalikes head, it's mouth retches open in a deadly promise of assured destruction as a baleful deluge of hot, magically induced, napalm of searing hot flames belch out from the maw of my friend in a roar not unlike an active volcano towards the prone and defenseless mimic unconscious on the floor.

  The mimic is promptly engulfed in the inferno, as screeches of pain and sizzles of flesh, as pops of pustules and crackles of flame can be heard all throughout the immediate space, the monster stood no chance.

  “Damnit! The mimic takes 6d6 fire damage.” Arthur said after calculating the upcast damage dice.

  “Aaaaand?” I say in a taunting manner.

  “And since it's in grease, the grease catches fire dealing an additional 1d6 of damage for each turn inside it…” Arthur said, sounding utterly defeated.

  “That's what I like to hear! Imma just roll for my damage and would you look at that, the dice gods smile upon my rolls today with a score of 35! How much damage does the grease fire do to our crispy guest here?”

  “Well considering she's going to take the full three turns in the fire, that's 1d6 a turn and her rolls are… she takes 15 points of damage from that, totalling out to be 50 damage, overall not bad, thought it would be worse.”

  “Huh really?”

  “NO you fucking jackass! She's dead! She's cooked! She's absolutely fucking crispy with a side of loot! Dude I had this whole elaborate plan for this to be a big team battle with Mama mimic and her babies against the party but you just had to go ruin it! Had to think up of something on the spot and I had hoped you would run away after hearing the mama coming after you!”

  “Oof! Well you know what they say about plans right?”

  “And what the fuck do they say about plans Eli?”

  “I don't fucking know, I'm not the one that made the plan.” I said nonchalantly.

  It was with that Bruce and Mark broke out in uproarious laughter with Mark saying. “Classic fucking Eli.”

  “Oh my goodness this is gold.” Bruce said cheerfully.

  Wiping a tear from his eye. “So when do we get to the action?” Mark gestured to himself and Bruce.

  “That's the best part, you don't!” Arthur said with words dripping venom.

  “What do you mean we don't? We didn't get to play at all today?” Bruce said with rising blood pressure.

  Arthur groaned “Well tough shit, this session is done for the night, thanks to our resident pyro over here.”

  “Huh? How're you gonna blame me for this, I was just defending myself in all honesty.”

  “Yeah well you defended yourself too well, now I gotta write up the next encounter with a headache thanks to you” Arthur groaned

  “Damn, I'm sorry guys, I guess I shouldn't have split the party, I won't do it again though, I promise.” I said forlorn.

  “Oh it's all good, I'm sure either of us would have done the same to quite possibly less success.” Mark said without any fuss.

  “Yeah besides the way you used dragons breath on that thing was fucking radical, I'm serious when I say I want you to try that on me cuz I really wanna spit flames on my foes now!” Bruce said excitedly.

  “Heh, sure thing pal, hey Arthur, can I check out the loot Mama mimic and that baby mimic dropped at the least?”

  “You can pick up the loot but we won't go over the details till the next session.”

  “Fuuuudge, fine whatever, I guess that's really it for tonight then?”

  “Yup, unless you wanna retcon all that just happened.” Arthur said with a smidge of hope.

  “Fuck no, what I did was awesome and no one's taking that away from me.” I said proudly

  “Yeah I thought so, alright guys I'm ending the call here, y'all have a good night now.” With that Arthur signed off.

  “Peace out gang!” Bruce said jovially as he signed out of harmony video call.

  “To be honest, I'm not even mad, what you did was what I and everyone in our group has been trying to do since we started this game, keep it up! Though do keep caution and wits about you, if I were a betting man, I'd bet on your character not being alive for too long with whatever bs Arthur's gonna try and pull on you, but hell you make these sessions so much more lively than they have been, have a good night bro.” Mark said.

  “Thanks I just like pissing people off I suppose, and you have a good one too, hopefully see you next sesh.” I waved Mark goodbye as he signed off, leaving me to do so as well.

  I got up from my desk where my computer is stationed, feeling a bit stiff from my chair that's not really a gaming chair but I make do. I scratched my ass as I made my way to the kitchen and opened the fridge to see what I got to eat, noting a couple bags of oranges, some grapes, milk, eggs and some taco meat mixed with potatoes.

  “I do also have some tomatoes and jalapeno peppers, maybe I'll turn that into a salsa sometime before they rot hopefully, but i'm not really all that hungry.”

  Feeling just a bit indecisive today, I just went for a water bottle at the bottom of the fridge and called it a night, turned off the lights and made my way to my bedroom.

  There I flopped into bed and contemplated for a bit. What a day, work was abysmal, DM was a jerk but I still had fun! Not gonna lie, I wish I could get back at people like that more often, y'know just mess with them a little bit for when their head is too far up their own ass, i think it's justifiable to show them a thing or two about themselves, especially those bitches at my workpla-.”

  It was then my thoughts were interrupted by a bright glowing screen just popping up into existence about a foot in front of me, making me jump out of bed in alarm. The screen was about as big as a tablet, black, blank and semi-translucent too except for one of those blinking mouse indicators that looked like it was about to type something on a computer.

  “Uhh?” I managed to mumble out.

  The screen continued to be blank for a moment longer until words started appearing on it rapidly, as if a pro typist had just decided they wanted to win a championship or something.

  “Are you Eli?”

  My mind was blank as it asked me this. Of course I'm Eli, but I don't know if I should be telling a random ass floating screen that. so i just looked at it.

  “You have 10 seconds to affirm whether you are Eli, failure to do so will result in your immediate termination.”

  “Whoa whoa wait wait, yes i'm Eli!” I said in a hurry after hearing what I could safely assume to be a threat to my life by some sorta screen alien.

  “Affirmation received… Commencing bio-scan to confirm identity. If identity is falsified, your termination will proceed immediately.”

  Sweat started dripping down my face. Now would be a real shitty time to find out if i'm adopted, please don't tell me i'm adopted and my name is actually Eli.

  The screen emitted a green laser that sweeped back and forth rapidly and went down the length of my body slowly. I felt every fiber of my being scrutinized by this damn laser, I dared not to move in case that was an excuse to “terminate” me. I like not being terminated! I heard termination is bad for your health, y'know!

  As I was fretting over the possible termination of my life, the laser stopped scanning and the screen in front of me seemed to think for a moment with the mouse indicator just flashing. I stared at it with all types of anxiety breathing down my neck, when suddenly the screen disappeared from view.

  I let out a deep breath I didn't even know I was holding till now. “Phew, oh my god! For a second there I thought I was gonna di-.”

  “Congratulations Player Eli, your identity has been successfully verified, and may now play the game!”

  “Damn you gotta stop popping up outta nowhere like that, you're gonna give me a heart attack! And what game are you talking about? Is this a prank or something?”

  “In order to play the game, a donation is required.”

  “A donation? Listen, whatever is going on here, I want no part of it.”

  “A donation is required.”

  “I don't care how many times you say it, weird alien computer thingy, i'm not donating damn! Wheres the fucking projector or whatever yall used to set up this elaborate joke.”

  “A donation is required, or termination shall commence.”

  “Fuuuuuck, you serious?”

  “Termination shall commence in 10 seconds.”

  “Oh for christ’s sake, fine! Ok I'll donate! What would the “Termination” happy screen want from me, some cash? I got about 50$ in my wallet.”

  “No, your human currency will not be required, the donation we request is your heart.”

  “My heart? What are you gonna do, a heart transplant or something? I like my heart where it is to be real with ya, cuz in case you didn't know, my heart keeps me alive.”

  “Do not worry, for your heart will be kept safe with us and you will remain alive, in exchange for your heart, you will receive your heart's desires.”

  My heart's desires huh? Well that could be anything, how would I know what my heart wants? It's not like I'm intune with my emotions or anything, but I got a feeling if I were to deny this donation imma just end up dead regardless, so I might as well do what it says, as much as all this shit freaks me out… ughhh.

  “Ok fine, you can have my heart, do i get any say so in what my heart de-”

  All of a sudden i felt a breeze where i've never felt a breeze before, also i felt lighter and oddly quieter for some reason, kinda chilly too. I look down to find a hole in my shirt and some red stuff along with it.

  I don't remember there being a big hole there? Why’s the room spinning, why do I feel so… cold…

  I fall flat on my back as i gasp for air that never comes, the cold is getting colder, i put my hand to my chest and to my surprise my hand doesn't stop where the center of my chest should be, instead it goes into a wide vacant hole, big enough for my whole hand to fit.

  W-what's going on? I can feel the onset of a major panic attack coming on but I don't feel my heartbeat to indicate that. The damn screen really took my heart, motherfucker! I wish I could yell right now but It seems I can't catch my breath… guess this is how I die? Man what a fucked up way to go.

  “Apologies for the delay, there were some technical difficulties with finding the correct parameters for your heart’s desires that have now been solved for the time being, some adjustments will have to be made in the future, for now your heart’s desires shall be bestowed upon you and give you a new lease on life. Thank you for participating in our program, we hope to see great results from you player Eli.”

  So you're saying I'm dying because of technical difficulties?! That some BULLSHIiiii…