4

  Let bones be scattered upon the windswept plains, let hearts be entombed `neath

  shadows of still mountains, let eyes be concealed beneath the restless waves, thus shall the soul wander, never to find peace.

  The crimson deceiver was hugging his dead wifes and daughters body, screaming like a child. I cut his head off before he wailed ?Why?” for the third time. Belladonnas’ body was dismembered and buried in different parts of the Valley.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  ?That was unwise, Red Bird.” Mother admonished me.

  ?The woman was going to kill my brothers, your children.”

  ?And yet not only is she dead, but so is a little girl. Was she going to kill you, too?”

  ?The girl saw everything, would you prefer I bewitched her?”

  ?That is not the way of the Valley.”

  ?I’ll go pray for them.”

  ?What’d she say?” Esmeray was waiting outside.

  ?What are you doing here?”

  ?You always ask me that.” She smiled. ?I thought I’d wait for you.”

  She was walking alongside me, her arm brushed against mine, deliberate or careless, I could not tell.

  I almost leaned into it.

  Almost.

  I hated the part of me that ached for the warmth.

  Instead, I hardened my step, pretending I hadn’t noticed the way she slowed hers to match mine.

  ?Seems like your grieving time is over, sister.”

  ?Oh, come on, don’t be like that. I thought we finally started to get along.”

  There was something in her voice that made me want to keep her close, instead I pushed her against the wall, my arm against her throat.

  ?I don’t know what you’re trying to do but it’s ending now. Next time you touch me, I’ll rip your nails off.”

  In a matter of seconds I found myself in her place, it was a swift movement, her hand grasping my shoulder as she kept me still. She leaned in, her breath crashing like waves onto a rock.

  ?What would you use to cut them off? Pliers? Scissors?”

  ?My teeth. What happened back there?” I demanded.

  She stepped back, hesitating.

  ?The truth.”

  ?I had a younger sister once.”

  My heart was racing as I gulped down my tenth shot of poison made of herbs you can only find in the Valley. It is the way, don’t use it against others, use it against yourself so they cannot.

  “How’d you end up like this?” I felt my words mingle in my mouth.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear. Might have been the poison affecting her conscience but she gave me the truth.

  “Revenge. Ain’t she a bitch? You see, someone hurt my younger sister once and I punched them. Dead in one strike. After that I started fighting to survive, easiest way to earn means.”

  “What happened to her?”

  Esmeray pursed her lips but she continued talking.

  “Died this year.”

  “Parents?”

  She smiled. “My mom died in childbirth, my dad is dead to me. Besides,” She continued, “I’ve got this. You, my brothers and sisters, the Valley.”

  I examined her as if her body was a weapon ready to strike.

  “I’d never touch you.” She wasn’t even looking at me and yet she read me like a book. “Body language,” She explained. “You’re stiff. And I can feel you staring at me.”

  I collapsed against the backrest.

  “Why are you really here?”

  Esmeray turned to look at me, her eyes narrowed. “Where else would I be?”

  I shrugged my shoulders, then I think I started laughing but there was no noise coming out of my throat.

  She stood up and left, yet ceased at the door. She didn’t turn around as she spoke.

  “Before I forget, Mother wants you to meet a Crimson rat today. Seemingly he insisted to talk to you in private.”

  I didn’t have the power in me to answer. I passed out shortly after her parting.

  That night, I dreamt of my mother. She would’ve been jealous, she would have loved dying giving birth to me. Beautiful, dying while bringing something you love to life, dying knowning you did something good. Except she would have despised me if she were still alive, no one wishes a monster for a daughter.

  I woke up more rested than I’ve ever been since joining Mournridge Den. I tied my hair and filled my body with weapons. Six knifes on each arm, my dagger at my hip and four switchblades on each thigh. This was over by nightfall.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  The roads were empty, the rain was light. I felt my hands tremble as a man unknown to me approached me. His eyes were blue like clear water but they were not the ice cubes I so desperately wanted to see.

  ”Red Bird, thank you for accepting my request. I promise I am the soul of discretion.” His smile hinted comfort but it only angered me more.

  We walked silently for a while until we found a bench under a birch tree. I didn’t dare look, for I would only see myself on the branches, or worse, the Wraith resting against the trunk. I shifted my gaze to the rats’.

  ?I killed your brother the other day. His wife and daughter along.”

  Quite some time passed before I got an answer. Sweet tweets lingering in the air. I pressed my hands against my ears, they did not cease.

  ?You want to know why he betrayed you.”

  I didn’t have to answer, my face gave it all away.

  ?We promised him something the Mother couldn’t.”

  I found myself grinning.

  ?And whats’ that?”

  He turned to look at me, my eyes were already on him. ?Loyalty.”

  ?The loyalty was his to give. To the Valley of Sins.”

  ?And what did he get in return? A dead wife and daughter?”

  ?It is the way.”

  ?Is it? He didn’t get his share of resources for months, he was starving himself to keep his family alive.”

  ?That is not my problem. I do not-?

  ?Don’t what? Care? Have feelings? Nor do I, but you won’t see me breaking my promises. The man worked for you for years, you lived of off him.”

  ?For a man who claims to be the soul of discretion you surely know a lot. It was a dull-witted choice if you ask me.” I stood up.

  He was still sitting, watching my every move, his arm resting on the dagger tied to his thigh. When he spoke, his voice was calm, nearly too quiet for the state we were in.

  ?Have you yet spoken to Esmeray?” He asked as if it was evident, as if I have already gotten all the details and only an answer was required from me.

  ?Esmeray?”

  He stopped.

  ?What?”

  ?I don’t know what you’re talking about but if you think it is game time I strongly urge you to reconsider before I stab you in the gut.”

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  ?She’s Vaelens’ daughter.” The same calmness, the same tweet.

  I could hear my ears ring. ?Why tell me?”

  The man stood up. ?Vaelen wants you to join us. Pledge yourself to the Crimson Base, banish your agnostic beliefs and we will protect you.”

  The corner of my lip tugged into a half moon. ?Don’t worry, I’ll pray for you.”

  It only took a swing of my blade to kill him. He did not flinch, there wasn’t sound anymore. It was almost as if he expected it, wanted it.

  Seeing that deceiver grab his slit throat reminded me how beautiful death was.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  Esmeray was waiting for me in the training hall, her forehead sweaty and knuckles bloody. The men she just fought were bleeding on the ground.

  “Wanna train?” She grabbed a mug with water and spilled it all over her head and hands, wincing as the water touched her cuts.

  I threw my first knife, Esmeray dodged it without looking. I pulled out my second, she grabbed my arm and twisted it before I could throw it. I bent over and slashed her thigh with my switchblade before she could deck me in the face. She grabbed my hair and pulled me to the ground as her blade was meeting my throat. I dragged mine through her thigh further causing her blade to drop. Our free hands met on my dagger as we wrestled on the ground.

  “What are you doing here?”

  She pushed me and rolled beneath me, then stood up and hit me with her foot making me lurch to the side.

  “You really do enjoy asking me that.”

  I rose and grabbed her wounded thigh, she staggered back.

  “You know, I met someone really riveting today. Sadly, I doubt he made it home to his family.”

  She rose her hands, surrendering.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I should tell you Red Bird, you sound slightly mad.”

  I might have gone mad but I could’ve sworn I heard myself giggle.

  “I hoped you’re not as dense as you look, deceiver.”

  She tried smiling but it was more of a grimace.

  “Fuck. I told them not to do it. Red Bird, I am on your side. You have to trust-”

  “I don’t trust anyone but the Valley.” I put my switchblade back in the holster of my waistband. “Get that treated, I need you alive.”

  “What for?”

  “Oh Esmeray, wouldn’t it be a little unfair for you to miss the end of your little base?”

  Esmeray dragged herself outside, a path of blood followed her.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  I was icing my swollen arm as Mother burst in.

  “What the fuck did you do?”

  “Trained.”

  “She needed a couple of tens of stitches, Red Bird.”

  “And she got them, didn’t she?”

  Mother laughed bitterly.

  “She could’ve lost her leg. How many brothers and sisters will we lose before you lose that temper of yours? I already have enough on my plate after Spider Lily’s murder.”

  “What?”

  It hit me suddenly, sharp and undeniable, what I had dreamt was true. She was really gone. All those vivid details, the coldness of her absence, the emptiness that followed her departure. It wasn’t some twisted vision of my mind, it was reality. I had tried to deny it, to convince myself that I was simply unraveling, that my mind was playing tricks on me. But the quiet, the stillness of this room, screamed of her death.

  Mother sighted. “I thought you knew. It happened shortly after Esmeray came to me asking to join.”

  Thoughts swarmed my head, I could not help but think it was Mother’s doing. But why? What reason would she have to order the death of her kin. Why would Esmeray accept?

  “Where is Esmeray?”

  “Waiting for you at The New Inn. If you touch a single string of her hair, I will have all your bones shattered and fed to stray dogs.”

  “Somehow I find that a better death than Spider Lily’s.”

  The words were banging against my lips as if they were wretched mice stuck in a trap. Do you know she is a traitor, Mother? I am sure you do, after all it might as well have been you that made everything happen in the first place. Yes, that’s how it was.

  Esmeray was leaning on the counter, chatting with the innkeeper. Her head turned as she heard me walk in.

  “Red Bird, please.” She gestured towards the seat next to her.

  I joined her side.

  “Give me the strongest ale you have.” I said to the innkeeper.

  “Fifteen stitches.” Esmeray interrupted, although I didn’t recall asking.

  I found it strangely amusing how my memory had become this elusive thing, like trying to catch fog with your hands. One moment, I’d be sharp as a tack, and the next, my thoughts scattered like leaves in the wind. I could almost hear them laughing at me from somewhere in the back of my mind as if the universe itself had been in on a jest I hadn’t been clued in on.

  “You gave up because of fifteen stitches? Here I thought you were strong.”

  She chuckled, bemused. “Surely you are delirious. I wouldn’t dare to even think you’d believe that of me.”

  I grabbed her wounded thigh as I spoke, there was no reaction apart from the contraction splayed across her face.

  “We have yet to finish our previous parley. I am feeling considerate, so I will let you talk first. I suggest you do it fast, before I lose the remaining of my sanity, because then you’d probably be dead.”

  “You cannot kill your kin. It is forbidden.”

  “If I am right, you are no kin of mine.”

  She winced, there was no masquerade, for the first time in months I could feel unimpeachable burn.

  “How much do you know?”

  “Only that your suit may be pure but your blood surely isn’t. I find it astonishing how a little detail can ruin everything.”

  Her eyes were stuck to the ground but I could see her mind storming for an escape, an excuse, anything that would make me understand.

  “I am no deceiver. I do not think of Vaelen as my father. The Crimsons… they think I am still with them. You have to understand I couldn’t just run away, I had to devise.”

  She was drowning and I was in control of the tide.

  Let her go under I thought.

  I will pray for her I thought.

  Yet she did not, she was still there next to me, maybe I was wrong about her.

  Maybe I did not have the strength within me to let her go.

  Maybe I was the one drowning.

  “Pray tell, what do they think you’re doing then?”

  “That I’m here to gather intel, to persuade you into joining our cause.”

  “Why don’t you? Surely you led a prosperous life guided by your pretender god and would love the same for me.” I mocked because I could not laugh at her misery.

  “I chose not to live that life, I cannot pray to something I’ve never seen. I cannot. Their beliefs scare me, they told me Alyster sees me. I do not want him to. My father is a madman, I want him dead as much as you do. Not because I sympathize with him but because I despise him. He tore my sister and I apart. I am forever ruined because of him.”

  The tide broke down, there was a sea and a boat. My mother upon it, she was smiling at my fathers floating corpse.

  I wanted to scream, cry in her arms, kill her, save her. Most of all, I blamed myself for being so foolish, for believing her story. All I wanted was to loathe her but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  “The man I killed wanted me to join Vaelen. Take me to him so that I can break his limbs and bury his organs across the Valley.”

  Esmeray’s eyes lit up. In that moment I would’ve killed the moon just to see the bleeding sun once more.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  The place Esmeray brought me to could have easily been mistaken as a brothel or a bar. Two armed men were on guard. The houses’ doors opened and a man in a red suit welcomed us. He exchanged some words with Esmeray in a language I did not grasp. Although she seemed well versed while talking, repulse captured her expression, as if every word she uttered stabbed her.

  ?We will use the mainland tongue so that Red Bird can understand us.” Was what she lastly said.

  The man muttered something to himself then he bowed and closed the doors behind us.

  “Father is waiting for you.” He looked at me and I could feel his eyes tear me apart. I walked past him.

  I entered the room by myself, Esmeray said it would be best to go alone. Vaelen was short for a man but even though he was wearing a suit, you could notice he was only made of muscle underneath. He was a handsome man, for a second he reminded me of Mother. I brushed the thought away, it would have been vile to even muster such ideas.

  “So you’re the infamous Red Bird. My daughter has told me much about you.”

  There was no foreign accent noticeable in his voice. Vaelen smiled and there were four gold teeth shining at me.

  “You are to join us, no?”

  I stepped closer until my knees brushed the table he was sitting at. In contrast to Mother’s, his was well ordered. There was only a book in sight, I could not read what was written so I looked away.

  “Your daughter, Esmeray, infiltrated Mournridge Den. What might you know about it?”

  The Father leaned back on his chair.

  “I sent her to watch you. She says you have potential.”

  I looked up but there was nothing on his face. I straightened my back.

  “That is not what I asked.”

  “You asked what I know about it.”

  I leaned in, my fists hitting the table loud enough for the guards to burst in. He sent them away with a gesture of his hand. All three men bowed before retreating.

  “There’s clearly more you’re not telling me.”

  His face was blank as he spoke.

  “You think of me a liar?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You want me to believe you have no idea why your daughter killed our sister on Mothers’ command?”

  “You know as well as I do that kinslaughter is forbidden in the Valley.” He replied.

  “You think Mother would betray the Valley of Sins.”

  The Father smiled sheepishly.

  “I see that you have yet to allign your thoughts. Return with a decision, same time two days from now. Esmeray will know where to find me,” He rose from his chair. “One more thing. I strongly recommend keeping my daughter alive. She is of much better use breathing.”

  That night I dreamt of my father, yet he had Vaelen’s face. In my vision he had come to me repeatedly and I killed him every time. I would find myself on my doorstep after each turn but the Wraith wouldn’t show up.

  ?~ [?] ~?`

  Esmeray was waiting for me at the inn drinking. She rose her mug.

  “A drink, Red Bird?”

  I stepped closer and grabbed the drink from her hand. I finished it in one gulp. She smiled and ordered two more.

  Ever since I’ve pledged myself to the Valley, I haven’t been able to focus on my surroundings. I’ve learned every single bit of Mournridge Den by touch and smell. My head spinned all the time, my eyes played tricks on me. Tonight, the wooden counter and chairs were proeminent and shining in my eyes. The glasses clearer than glass, I’ve never felt this stable. I couldn’t let this moment fade, I needed to get answers. I could feel the dagger tied to my hip get colder, my switchblades scraping against the insides of my arm.

  “Why did you kill Spider Lily?”

  Esmeray chocked on her ale, some of it dripping down her lips.

  “How do you know?”

  “You appeared to me in a dream. Her death confirmed it.”

  A pause. Her breathing was shallow.

  “Why do you meddle so much? This has nothing to do with you, Red Bird.”

  “It has everything to do with me. I rest in the fate of the Valley as much as the fate of the Valley rests in me.”

  Another pause.

  “I did it on Mother’s orders. She swore she would tell me who caused my sister’s death if I brought her Spider Lily’s head. Truth is, I wasn’t planning on staying but I just couldn’t resist it. I finally feel like I belong.”

  “And has she told you?”

  “Not entirely, I just know it’s one of us. But you see... I am cursed. I made an oath, I cannot kill my kin so I will forever live with the one that caused the death of my sister while calling them my brother.”

  I wanted to make her suffer, she was as foolish as I, but I could not blame her. She was now one with the Valley and her sister’s soul was prayed for.

  ?~ [?] ~?

  The roads were filled with merchants, the birch tree in full bloom. He raised his arm and smiled, he was preternaturally ravishing, he was self-destruction and creation.

  ?Darling! I’ve been looking for you, shall we go someplace else?”

  He grabbed my hand and dragged me across the street. I wanted to pull away but I couldn’t.

  ?We’re good. You can let go.”

  I didn’t realise it but my hand was pulling on the hem of his shirt and I couldn’t loosen my grip. I used my other hand to pull it away.

  ?Where have you been?” I cried. ?It’s been weeks, Wraith.”

  His smile was as beautiful as he was.

  ?I am sorry. I was sent away on a mission. I promise to stay for as long as I can until it’s time for me to leave again.”

  ?Maybe it would’ve been better if you just left.” I said.

  He didn’t step back.

  ?I heard you met my brother and killed him. We still want an answer by tonight.”

  I pulled out my dagger slightly, just for him to see, his hand was resting on the knife tied to his hip.

  ?You can give them my answer now.” I hissed.

  ?I won’t kill you.” He said.

  ?Kill me? You will have no answer if I won’t live to give one. What aren’t you telling me?”

  He leaned in, our breaths mingled together.

  ?Oh,” He smiled. ?There’s nothing I wouldn’t tell you. That is the problem, Red Bird.

  ?Even if your beloved Vaelen ordered you?”

  ?Even.” He said, his lips crushing against mine.

  We broke apart. He was a hypnosis and I was attached to him just as the plants to the earth and the sun to the sky.

  ?Then why do you stay with him?” My words barely louder than a whisper.

  ?I cannot leave him as his youngest did.”

  My thoughts were mingled together, his voice scratching my ears.

  ?Does he know?” I felt my ears ring.

  ?That it was you that murdered her?”

  I must have been looking around like a crazy person because he tucked my head in his chest.

  ?Easy, easy now.”

  I didn’t pull away, I wouldn’t have been able to. It didn’t matter, I hoped he would find out that it was me. I wanted him to know.

  Nevertheless, I thought of Esmeray, of the hope she threaded of the life she had found at Mournridge den. When I finally pulled back the Wraith was gone.

  Was I not in his embrace?

  I left as the sun was setting, its’ bloody rays following me all the way back.

  I remember the way back to the base, just as clear as I remember leaving home. Such a beautiful day yet all I could feel were the peoples’ eyes on me and the smell of my fathers’ corpse.

  I wasn’t summoned, no one came to see me, no one tried to kill me for the things I’ve done. Esmeray was nowhere to be seen. I expected her to be in my room, dagger in hand, huge smile on her face. I fell asleep and for the first time no one haunted me in my dreams, perhaps I was already dead.