“That was odd,” Jeldrik exclaimed and turned to Anteo. He was still looking after Mr Stoltz, his expression disapproving. “Everything alright?”

  “You should’ve asked,” Anteo said.

  “Asked?”

  “Before openly discussing why we’re here.” Anteo turned to Jeldrik. He was barely taller than him, but his anger amplified his size somehow.

  “I don’t think that man is going to tell anyone,” Jeldrik said weakly, trying to hold the other man’s gaze.

  “Maybe he won’t, but maybe he will. Who knows what the ABA will put on their website if they find out the DMCI attended their gathering!”

  Now Jeldrik grew angry. “Dude, it was your idea to follow me!”

  “Yes, but I didn’t want anyone to find out!”

  “And where was your concern beforehand? When you could’ve suggested making up names before coming here? If you are so concerned, don’t blame me if we get caught. You had enough opportunities to think of a disguise – or to simply leave!” Jeldrik turned away and bit into one of his cookies, which was as dry as sand. He watched the small crowd of people talking passionately with each other and waited for Anteo to respond. The longer it took, the more grew his urge to turn to his colleague again, but he persevered.

  After what felt like a minute, he heard Anteo sigh and say: “I’m sorry. You’re right. I was just caught off-guard.”

  Jeldrik replied, a bit to fast: “It’s okay. I was just desperate to get something out of that man. I will be more careful.” His eyes flickered to Anteo, feeling slightly awkward after the heated exchange. Just as quickly, he looked back to the crowd when their eyes had met. Despite its briefness, their look had felt surprisingly intimate, and a picture of Viktor’s hurt expression crossed his thoughts. He brushed it aside. “Why did you want to tag along anyway?”

  Anteo had just bit in one of the cookies and coughed out a sandy cloud. He raised a finger, gesturing the younger man to give him a moment. When he had swallowed, he exclaimed, in an exaggerated display of self-importance: “You’re my subordinate, after all. I’m merely doing my job of keeping you out of danger.”

  “Subordinate?” Jeldrik laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Anteo was, of course, under no obligation to keep him safe, but Jeldrik did not push the subject any further. He simply darted a look at him, one eyebrow raised, and Anteo shrugged, as if there was nothing more to it.

  They decided to mingle with the crowd again, hoping to get a few names that could lead them to getting to know Argon better. Before they could decide who to talk with, they stood in front of Mia Waltz. She was almost as tall as the two men and her smile seemed genuine. Her healing wounds looked still quite painful from close.

  “Hey, I’m sorry to bother you two!” the woman said , reaching out her hand for them to shake. “Natalia mentioned that you two are new here and interested in the ABA. I just wanted to introduce myself. You can call me Mia.”

  “Anteo, nice to meet you!”

  “Jeldrik.” Standing in front of her without warning, Jeldrik had lost the thread for a moment and was happy that Anteo took over. He repeated the story he had told Natalia, only this time slightly less melodramatically; Mia seemed much less of a gossip and the cloak-and-dagger way of communicating would probably not resonate well with her.

  “I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Mia said. “I knew Theo well. He didn’t deserve to die – not that anyone does!” she added hastily. “But you know what I mean. He was just so kind, always. And constantly in a good mood too!”

  “We’re so sorry for your loss,” Jeldrik offered, genuinely feeling compassion for Mia, who looked slightly upset.

  “It’s alright. I’m more sorry for his daughter.”

  Jeldrik and Anteo’s eyes met for the fraction of a second. “He had a daughter?!” Jeldrik exclaimed surprised.

  “Yes, Cara. I haven’t met her more than twice. He didn’t want to involve her in politics and kept her away from our gatherings. His ex-wife wasn’t happy with him being an ABA member.” She looked into the distance, as if contemplating her own words. “I’m sorry, guys, I didn’t want to bore you!”

  “Oh no, don’t worry! We’re not bored.” Jeldrik did not want Mia to change the subject, so he asked: “Are you sure it was a hate crime? I mean, is there anyone you know who didn’t like Theo for other reasons?”

  Mia’s expression grew suspicious. “Not really. Why?”

  “Oh, I mean, I just want to see whoever did this behind bars. If nobody up there is taking care of this, I would hope someone else could find out.”

  The suspicion disappeared from the woman’s face. She looked sad again. “I’d like that, too. And you’re right, people should ask questions. Who else if not us! But honestly, besides maybe his ex-wife, no one seemed to be at odds with him. Like I said, he was very kind.” She paused for a second, sighing heavily, before suddenly switching the topic: “So what about you? You’re a couple?” She tried to hide a grin as both men defensively talked over each other as if embarrassed by the assumption. They looked at each other and laughed awkwardly, then Jeldrik, wanting to clarify, said: “No, we’re just friends.”

  “Alright!” Mia chuckled a bit, too, then said: “Well, I’m glad you made it here. I will get some snacks, if you don’t mind.”

  “Stay away from the cookies, they’re bone-dry,” called Anteo after her.

  “Thanks for the compliment, I made them!” she called back, smiling, seemingly unfazed by the unintended insult.

  Anteo blushed and Jeldrik tried to hold back laughter.

  “Maybe we should leave?” Anteo suggested.

  “Yeah, let’s not push our luck,” Jeldrik replied.

  Immensely relieved about none of the ABA having observed them leaving and the protesters, likely feeling useless standing in front of a building, being gone, Jeldrik and Anteo walked back past the river where they had come from. Dusk had settled, and the cool September air urged the men to walk at a brisk pace.

  “There’s a bar close by I like, want to warm up a bit before going home?”

  Jeldrik thought about Viktor, likely sitting on the sofa with his friends. Before he had left in the morning, he had told him he might be home not too late and would love to join them then. He looked at his phone; it was just after seven. There was more than enough time to have a drink with Anteo and come home in time to possibly calm the troubled waters between them.

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  “Sure,” Jeldrik replied, and less than five minutes later, they arrived at a place whose richly-carved door panels made Jeldrik almost feel too casually dressed to enter. Anteo always wore his fancy dress shirts to work and generally looked dapper. Jeldrik made always sure to look neat enough for work, but that meant most of the time wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt – in other words, tidy, but lacking refinement. When they entered the venue, Jeldrik’s awareness of his casual clothes grew stronger as he saw the burgundy carpet and mahogany-panelled walls, not to mention the clothes of the people already sitting on the expensive-looking leather benches, enjoying their cocktails.

  “You sure this is the right place,” Jeldrik asked, only half-jokingly.

  “Don’t worry. It looks fancier than it is. The drinks here are not even that pricey, and you can feel rich for a while.” Anteo raised his brows playfully.

  “At the moment, I feel poor,” Jeldrik responded, and the other man laughed and gave him a pat on the back. “What drink do you want? It’s on me.”

  “Bullshit, I can pay for myself.”

  “I didn’t say you can’t, but I want to.”

  Jeldrik wondered if Anteo was, in fact, trying to express his interest, and wondered if he would still want to pay for Jeldrik’s drink if he knew he had a boyfriend. Though since there was no way to disclose that fact to him in the situation, he decided to thank him instead and order a Caipirinha.

  They found a small table in a far corner of the bar and Jeldrik fell onto the bench, feeling suddenly quite exhausted.

  “What an event,” he exclaimed. Anteo raised his brows in a gesture of agreement and his glass for a toast. They clinked their glasses and took a sip. A much needed warmth spread out in his body and washed away the tension that had sat on Jeldrik’s shoulders since they had reached the ABA gathering. At the same time, an unprocessed thought resurfaced; Melanie’s tragic story about her daughter drowning was rattling on the door of Jeldrik’s carefully maintained values. He had not been fazed by the fact that individual cases of bonding with minors would certainly result in a more positive life for everyone involved. But he had always put higher value on the principle of necessary consent when joining a bond, which children were unable to give. But the conflict thought resolved was reignited inside Jeldrik by the aspect of added protection; was the detection of imminent danger not a valid reason for a parent to establish a bond with their children? If their intention was pure, would that added safety not make up for a life of limited privacy until one’s parents died? He was simply not sure anymore.

  “Can I ask you something?” Jeldrik put down his drink.

  “Sure!” Anteo leaned back on the bench into a more comfortable position.

  Jeldrik explained what was on his mind since the gathering and shook his head in confusion. “I’m not agreeing with the ABA’s cause, just to make that clear. But honestly, I’ve never been as close to agreeing.” He laughed, trying to make it sound light-hearted, but it sounded rather nervous. At least the alcohol in his system repressed any shame he might have felt admitting such a thing – or maybe it was just very easy to talk with Anteo. He looked at his colleague, who was stroking his perfectly shaved chin in thought. After a while, he replied: “I know where you’re coming from. But when you think about the cases where children were actually involved in illegal bonds, the overwhelming majority of them was suffering in one way or another from the fucked up power fetish those adults had. Basically none of them had good intentions and wanted to bond for their child’s protection, like Melanie might’ve done if it had been legal.”

  Jeldrik thought about that. Anteo was right, the statistics did not help the ABA’s cause in the slightest. “But – and I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here – doesn’t it need a certain type of person to break a law with such a high sentence if you are caught? Maybe that type of person is the unhinged type that would also hurt children.”

  “I think you underestimate the willingness of parents to do whatever it takes to keep their children safe. I doubt they would care about breaking some laws.”

  “But why aren’t more parents doing it then?”

  Anteo took a sip of his drink and leaned forward again on the table. “For one, cases where nobody suffers are harder to detect. Maybe there are some family’s out there whose children are perfectly happy and bonded with their parents, perhaps not even aware of it because the bond was established when they were babies. There basically is no way to spot those cases. But honestly, for most parents, the thought of bonding with their children just never crosses their mind, and it’s not like children are dying left and right because their parents cannot feel their emotions.”

  It all made sense to Jeldrik. But he was unable to find a satisfying mental conclusion to this topic. He took another sip of his drink and said: “Thanks for your input. I think I need to wrap my head around it when I’m sober. That drink is strong as hell!”

  Anteo laughed and put his hand on Jeldrik’s should again. But this time, he did not remove it immediately. He looked at Jeldrik, seemingly trying to interpret his reaction, while the other man looked back, his head slightly spinning, partly knowing what was about to happen. Anteo’s hand on his shoulder seemed to radiate an immense heat that flowed through his body and made him feel very relaxed. Anteo had apparently seen something in Jeldrik’s eyes that gave him the confidence to lean forward and place his lips on Jeldrik’s.

  The touch took him off-guard. Simultaneously, there had been in his head no more natural conclusion to this evening. His first response to the kiss was to just take in what was happening. After a few seconds that had felt like an eternity, he reciprocated Anteo’s move. But after just the fraction of a second – it was that fast, wasn’t it? – he pulled himself away from Anteo’s embrace, looking wide-eyed at the man who could not hide his surprise.

  “I’m so – fuck.” Jeldrik closed his eyes and put his face in his palms. “I’m so sorry Anteo. I have a boyfriend.”

  “Shit! No, I’m sorry.” He leaned back again, his face contorted in embarrassment. “I should’ve asked first.”

  “No, no, it’s not your –” Jeldrik felt like throwing up, despite the effect of his drink having worn off in an instant when he had come to his senses. “I should go. Thanks again for the drink. Really, I’m so sorry.” He picked up his jacket and hurried out of the bar.