Through some magic beyond Lucas' control he had somehow been convinced to sleep the night at Agatha's. He had calmed down since he found out that she had accidentally turned him into a vampire. But there was still a slight unease between the two. Lucas knew he would need to go to work in the morning but if his current wardrobe was anything to go off of, him going out into public would be a tall task. At some point around midnight Lucas had passed out on the couch.

  When the morning came Agatha was up and about before him. She was busy trying her best to clean the thick blood stains out of his clothes. Lucas was woken by the insistent poking of the woman.

  "Hey, wake up," she half whispered. "I've got good news."

  Lucas groaned and nearly rolled himself off of the couch.

  "What do you want?" It came out slightly more hostile than Lucas intended but he supposed it still got the point across.

  "I fixed your clothes. Well mostly," Agatha said

  "How does that work?" Lucas asked.

  "The stains are still kind of there but the rest of the fabric is so stained by it, it almost looks intentional, like a very unusual dye job!" Agatha delivered this like it was definitely a good thing and not super weird that now his clothes would have a permanent blood color to them.

  "Thanks I guess. Its still early enough I think I'll just take my chances with this, I should be able to slip home to change before work,"

  "Really, you sure? You seemed pretty opposed to the idea st night," Agatha said a little surprised. She stared at Lucas for a moment and started to say something but shook her head dismissing whatever thought she had.

  "Don't make me think about that anymore," Lucas fell further into the cushions. "Wait!" He shot up. "Can I even go outside in the daylight? How the hell am I supposed to get to work?"

  "Don't worry you won't combust into fmes... well probably. I haven't ever seen it before. That whole thing is a myth, only reason vampires tend to avoid the sun is just because it hurts our eyes too much, downside to impeccable night vision I suppose," Agatha said.

  "That makes sense I think," Lucas rubbed the bridge of his nose. He tried to stand up but was hit with a wave of nausea and his vision faded.

  "Woah careful. Need some breakfast?" Agatha said

  "Can it be something normal? Like eggs, god I would kill for some eggs right now," Lucas said "Oooh and some toast," He fell back into the soft embrace of the couch.

  "Well I don't have any of that, and besides that would absolutely destroy your stomach,"

  "It'd be worth it,"

  "You say that now, trust me it's very much not. Especially since now your body has tasted blood," Agatha said.

  "Fine, I'll take the blood then,"

  "Wonderful this morning we have the pleasure of drinking from... William Stevens... AB, eh not my favorite but it'll work," Agatha emptied the bag into two cups and passed one along to Lucas. "Don't spill this one," she said sternly.

  "Maybe you shouldn't have scared me, that spill is on you," Lucas retorted shockingly jovially given recent events. "Hey so... um, what if I need more?"

  "Right, it'd be best if I show you, its a tricky process,"

  "I thought you said it was legal,"

  "It is I swear, but a stranger buying blood bags for themselves is strange no matter the circumstances, so it's funneled through a small company run by vampires. Its a whole thing I don't really want to get into the details of so early," Agatha took a big gulp of blood as she strained to think about the blood bank. "How about this, I've got a small cooler I'll pack you a few bags that should st you until Friday. Come back over and I'll get you more acquainted with how to live, show you some vampire communities that kind of stuff."

  "Hmm I suppose after everything it is the least you could do. Its a date," Lucas said.

  "A date?" Agatha curiously raised an eyebrow.

  "Wait no, that came out wrong I don't mean a date date, it's like a literal date as in day," Lucas turned away trying to hide his embarrassment.

  "Right, yes of course. Well I look forward to the 'date'," she ughed.

  Agatha pulled a small container from a cupboard and yered a few insuted ice packs into the bottom, before pcing about a half-dozen bags of blood carefully inside. Afterwards she ran into her room and emerged with an old looking woven tote bag. She put the cooler in.

  "Here, you can throw your phone, keys, and whatever in too, since I'm pretty sure that skirt doesn't have pockets. But I want this back," She pointed seriously towards Lucas, who quickly patted around the skirt searching and failing to find pockets. He also became uncomfortably aware again of how ill fitting the clothes were on him and folded in on himself slightly trying to conceal his gross form.

  "Thanks," he whispered. "I should probably get going at this rate I'll barely make it to work on time."

  Agatha just responded with a kind smile and Lucas after a solid minute of psyching himself up to leave her apartment in the most unfttering outfit of all time stepped out into the hallway and walked cautiously out the building.

  The city was already awake, the streets were flooded with people making their morning commutes. Lucas could feel the stares as he walked down the street towards the bus stop. He wanted to shrivel up and die. What must they think of him, some freak in a skirt, not realizing how right they are. His whole life has been ruined, thrown upside down in only a matter of days. He could have been normal, he had tried so hard for years now to just be normal. No controversy, no complexities, a generic cut-out of a human male.

  How much longer could he keep that up? Should he?

  The morning air was crisp, it was nice and made the warmth from the sun more inviting. Agatha had been right the sun didn't hurt him, but he noticed he had to squint and block the sun out more than usual. It wasn't intolerable but it also wasn't the best feeling. He made a mental note to get good sungsses when he had the chance.

  Lucas had closed his eyes for a moment, a brief gre off a building too much to handle. He hadn't realized he stepped into a street. A biker swerved around Lucas barely avoiding him.

  "Watch it mi...!" The biker was cut off by a car as they yelled at Lucas. After narrowly avoiding the car they continued off to where ever they were going.

  Lucas had jumped back and had to take a deep breath. Looking carefully before crossing the street this time Lucas jogged across to the bus stop which was located on that corner. Lucas stood by the sign, he didn't really like to sit on the benches, he never trusted them. And besides it didn't hurt to stand whenever possible given he sits all day at his job. A voice caught his attention from across the street where he just came from. An older woman was saying something and waving in his direction.

  "...ss, I think you dropped something," She was holding something in her hand and waving it as she carefully crossed the street. "Miss, is this your phone I think it might have fell out of your bag."

  Lucas looked around confused, there was no one else around, certainly no miss. A bit hesitant he pointed at himself but didn't say anything.

  "Yes, who else would I be speaking to?" she nodded.

  Lucas took a look at the phone and was shocked to see that it was his phone. How did it get of his bag? He searched through the contents to make sure nothing else was missing and that's when he noticed a small hole in the corner of the bag. Just rge enough that at the right angle a phone could slip right through.

  He started to speak but the words became stuck in his throat. For some reason he didn't want to break the illusion, that he was in this dy's mind a fellow dy. It made him feel warm but also terribly terribly wrong. The woman was obviously confused, sure he was wearing girls clothes, and his hair was a little more wild and androgynous than usual. But a man he was nonetheless. Just look at his face, his body, his figure. You can't just change who you are.

  Lucas said nothing but just smiled and nodded graciously to the woman and accepted his phone back.

  Lucas stood stunned at the bus stop soaking in the moment. He very nearly missed his bus, but the driver had managed to shake him awake.

  When he arrived home he did something he didn't allow himself the day prior. He looked in the mirror. That joyful moment at the bus stop confused him more and more. Why did she think he was a girl. It made no sense. The person who stared back at him was most certainly Lucas but he was different. His oily skin and faded into a smoother paler complexion, resembling more the skin of Agatha; likely a byproduct of his vampirism. But that key change made him look wholly different. Coupled with his hair and outfit he almost looked tomboyish.

  His gaze became harsher, as he continued to stare he began to pick out his more masculine features; his shoulders, jawline, and hands. It hurt to notice these, but he felt he must. He needed to prove to himself he was a guy. These are what makes male bodies male and he has them so he must be a guy.

  He couldn't look any longer. He firmly shut his eyes which had begun to tear up. and hastily removed the clothes from his body, and threw them far away from him. He didn't belong in those, he never should have even put them on. What was he thinking?

  He put on his normal clothes and went into work, even more depressed than he usually was. Why was this hitting him so hard. He for the rest of his life would need to subsist almost entirely on the blood of others, his entire understanding of reality fundamentally altered, but no what really hurts is being mistaken for a girl?

  He swiveled around on his chair marking foundation diagrams while sipping on blood through an opaque straw. This blood wasn't as sweet as the first blood he had st night. This was fattier? More savory? It was strange thing to try to describe but it was unmistakably different, almost hamburger like. Lucas wondered if the blood took on certain qualities of their diet. He did hear Agatha say she had a favorite blood type, maybe it could be that instead? He would need to follow up with her. He reached for his phone to text her before realizing they still had yet to exchange numbers. Lucas sighed and relented the question for Friday.

  He spun around and looked over at Emma's desk. She curiously looked over her monitor at Lucas.

  "Do you need something?" She asked, she pushed her chair to the side to get a better look at Lucas.

  "More a question really," Lucas said.

  "Ok, shoot," Emma said.

  "Have you ever been mistaken as a guy before? I mean you've got kind of short hair it must have happened once or twice," Lucas hesitated as he spoke.

  "Ehh, not that I can think of. Why?" Emma made a puzzled face.

  "Well Hypothetically lets say someone did," Lucas said quickly.

  "Are you saying I look like a guy? That's pretty rude," Emma began to turn her attention back to her screen.

  "No not at all, you look lovely. I'm just saying hypothetically someone did, how would that make you feel," Lucas' spasming words began to direct him into uncomfortable territory. If he spoke much longer whatever small rapport they might fracture.

  "Pretty bad I guess? I don't know. Why are you asking me this?"

  "Different question. Let's say you were a guy and someone thought you were a girl, what then?"

  "Lucas what the hell are you talking about. And I don't know... still bad I guess?"

  Lucas fell silent for a moment.

  "Really? Why?"

  "Well if in the scenario I was a guy and someone thought I was a girl that'd be bad... because I'm not?" Emma shook her head in confusion. "Again why the hell are you asking me? Did someone mistake you for a girl or something?"

  "No, nothing like that," Lucas lied.

  "Than why are you thinking about these scenarios?" Emma paused and thought for moment. "Is this some convoluted way of you coming out?"

  "What? No I'm not like that, I couldn't be," Lucas crossed his arms and legs defensively.

  "Really? Because you seem pretty hung up on it. You know I won't care right," Emma pointed to a little rainbow fg poking out of her pencil cup.

  "But I'm not because that's just how everyone thinks,"

  "Lucas, I literally just disproved that,"

  "Yea but you're a woman already that doesn't count. Every man would rather be a woman right? But we can't have that because society would colpse, therefore men stay men."

  "Oh you poor thing," Emma took on a pitying look. "I hate to say this but, that sounds like you're trans."

  "No, I'm not. I'm a man," Lucas' throat caught on the word.

  "Do you want to be?"

  "Does it matter?"

  "Of course it does. It's your life, you shouldn't have to live as someone you're not, it's a nightmare."

  "So again. Do you want to be a woman?"

  "I don't know maybe?"

  "I mean it would suit you," Emma threw in quickly. A bait into the water.

  "Really?" Lucas said a hopeful hint of joy leaking into his voice.

  "Listen to yourself. If you weren't trans you wouldn't have perked up like that. No man thinks to themselves 'oh golly gee, I sure wish I was a girl'. Only women do," Emma's voice became more quiet not wanting the rest of the office to hear the rapidly devolving conversation surrounding Lucas' gender.

  "But I'm not a woman, Its not right or fair to real women,"

  "What's not right is your failure to understand. Trans women are very much real women. Look I'm not going to force a bel onto you but I think you should at least look into it, I've met a few trans women and they all have said pretty simir things to you," Emma sighed and returned her eyes back to her computer.

  Lucas' mind raced. Was it possible? Could he be trans? Lucas had come across the term a few times on the internet, but it always described people that always knew. All they ever knew was they were not what society told them they were to be. He wasn't like that, Lucas liked growing up the way he did, he enjoyed his friends and activities. He just didn't like his body. Which lots of people suffer from. That one thing wouldn't make him trans. But if he could be... of course he would want to be. But that wouldn't make him trans... right? Would that be all it took? Just the want to be something different?

  No... it's too te now. Even if he was what could he do about it. Could a vampire change? What would be the harm in trying? Maybe he could... He's suffered as himself for over twenty years, and suddenly his whole body has changed. Maybe it can change again.

  Pasta-Gal