When I first caught my reflection, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. It wasn’t just normal scars; my face bore distinct handprints branded onto my face. As I examined myself, I noticed that my eyebrows had been burnt away unevenly in the process as well. However, the worst aspect was my eyes.

  “They’re beautiful,” Ellie cheered.

  My eyes, glossed over in an unnatural icy gray, looked lifeless or diseased. Her claim felt like a cruel joke. How could she see beauty at such a hideous sight?

  Ellie’s voice seemed distant to me as she asked, “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah… Why are my eyes like this? Why didn’t you say anything?” I was struggling to suppress, mourning the loss of my face. “I can’t go out like this. I need sunglasses or something.”

  “Um, I’m not sure if we have any sunglasses,” she hesitated. “Come on. You’re already dressed; you can’t hide away forever.”

  “Where are my clothes? Please tell me this isn’t what I have to wear...” A heavy sense of discontent settled in my core, each concern building the weight in my gut, making me feel like I was on the brink of resembling a monster. Tattered garments, unruly hair, and zombie-like eyes. But Ellie kept urging me forward until eventually, I couldn’t keep pretending to be okay and took refuge under the blankets.

  The metal lady finally left me in peace, returning occasionally to coax me out. “There’s another reincarnation here now,” she said, attempting to persuade me, but I remained silent. “Zeek promised to find something for you.”

  By the time she returned with the shades, I found myself fully immersed in my misery. Ellie held onto hope that once she presented the sunglasses to me, I would once again be magically fine. Honestly, it’s what I wished too.

  She eagerly handed me back the mirror, and I had to admit that Zeekiel’s choice was fitting. They were large, dark, and perfectly sized to conceal a good portion of the damage and a lot like…

  “These are Dana’s,” I said and pulled them off. “She wouldn’t leave without these.”

  Ellie’s eyes watered and her voice softened. “Zeekiel went back to check…” she couldn’t say anymore before she dropped her face into hands to try to keep herself composed.

  At least for that day, I had upset her enough to leave me alone. But when she came back the next day, she pleaded, “Just come out, we can start training.”

  Though I knew those words would have lifted me into action any other time, they only deepened my desire to hide away.

  “Where is my staff?” I grumbled. I had no intention of using it, but wanted it nearby.

  “Gibel’s been working on it. It’s going to look really nice,” she replied. “He’s the one that made my blades with the overgrowth from Adriel’s staff.”

  “No,” I retorted, upset at the idea of having to go out of my way to retrieve my staff.

  Confusion flickered across her face. “No…to what?”

  “I’m tired. I don’t want to train,” I murmured.

  Once she left, I drifted to sleep, but only because it felt like the only way I’d be left alone. When I woke up, I rose from the pillow with the soreness from the glasses twisted against my forehead and the bridge of my nose. I definitely felt more comfortable with something on my face, but took a break by sliding them up.

  I extended my hand over to the side of the bed and reached for the feather. It was still pretty, but my faith in it as my lucky charm was lost.

  With everything quiet, I brushed it along my face while I looked towards the dark window and realized it was the perfect moment to enjoy the outside in solitude.

  I opened the door only for my stomach to sink as I quietly attempted to reverse back into the room. But it was already too late.

  I dropped my sunglasses from my head. “Why are you out here?” I asked down at the stirring pile of feathers.

  “Thought you were sleeping,” Raziel said. His amber eyes glowed like gold under the shadow of his wings, invoking the image of metallic gel pen on black paper. It made it easily noticeable he was avoiding my gaze.

  “Should you be out here?” I asked, confused and a bit worried, my voice revealing my concern. I didn’t understand why he was outside instead of resting in bed.

  Raziel gestured upward to indicate Zeekiel’s raven perched above us as if it were his permission. “I’m sorry about your scars. Ellie said you didn’t want to come out today.”

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  “You don’t have to sit out here waiting to say you’re sorry,” I said.

  “If it means anything, I’m paying for my failure,” he said.

  I studied him skeptically. “You okay?”

  “For now,” Raziel said and peered up at Zeekiel’s spot again, but this time missing the presence of the large black bird. The four-winged angel got up and stretched. “Have you seen the garden? We should go for a walk,” he insisted.

  I trailed behind him, my reluctance apparent in my slow dragging steps. He turned his head to look back at me, shifting his wings to peer past his shoulders. “And what about you? Are you okay?” he inquired.

  I replied, “Eventually.”

  “Has anything changed since the incident…?” Raziel asked, his tone laced with concern.

  I shook my head. “Am I supposed to have noticed something?”

  “Uriel spoke to you about what happened, right?” he inquired further.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry you got screwed over trying to save me,” I said.

  “Oh, you shouldn’t apologize,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “Though I wish I had known in advance that losing a fraction of myself this way would be uncomfortable.”

  “How so?”

  He paused, looking around and clutched his chest. “It burns. When I’m with Ellie during the day, I manage to feel alright, but the nights are unbearable. I can’t sleep, but being close to you somehow eases the discomfort.”

  “Me?” I squeaked, my eyes widening, surprised by the sudden intimacy of his words.

  “That’s why I was outside your room,” he confessed awkwardly. “I’ve tried everything to make it go away, but nothing else has worked.”

  “That sucks,” I sympathized, retreating behind him. His words were a plea for understanding and I didn’t know how to appropriately reply. We had only met a few times, but this situation pulled us closer. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’m fine and Uriel said someone could help fix it all.”

  “I don’t think it’s going to be so easy,” he said. “The most natural outcome is I’m going to have to wait.”

  At first I wondered why he was so ambiguous with what he was saying until a realization surged through lighting my mind and striking my heart.

  “Oh… you mean when I die?”

  “Yes,” he finally answered. “When you die, that’s when I’ll get it back.”

  A wave of sudden fear washed over me, an icy sensation crawling up my spine and settling in the pit of my stomach. If the four-winged prince wanted to end whatever curse I put on him, he could just find a way to get rid of me.

  “Can’t we finish the vow?” My words felt tight. Desperate.

  “Unfortunately, we’re not at the same level. Receiving an ill proportionate aeon is just as dangerous.”

  “How does someone get on the same level as you?”

  The four-winged angel explained, “You’ll need to start by establishing connections, building a network of vows, and learning from them. This should expand your capabilities. Maybe you could ask Ellie? You two are on the same level.”

  A bitter thought entered my mind, reminding me of my inadequacies. Self-doubt whispered in my ear, mocking my abilities. Of course, I was on the same level as an angel who faints whenever they attempt magic.

  It was a cruel thought, not just about myself, but to Ellie, too.

  I refused to consume her with my negativity. Instead, I promised myself that we’d both get stronger. With newfound determination burning in my chest, I asked, “Will I even be able to find more angels?”

  “That’s part of the process,” he replied.

  “Do I always have to keep this on now?” I glanced down at my pendant, wondering if it would impede on any future connections.

  He shook his head. “What’s done is done. I suggest keeping it on for now though, it does work…”

  “I’ll work on fixing this then,” I affirmed.

  He looked at me, surprised. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ll do what you need to make the vow right. You’ll be fine then, won’t you?”

  He seemed to consider my suggestion for a moment before he explained, “I appreciate that determination, but it’ll take a while and eventually I will have to go home.”

  “What’s the harm in trying?”

  “Nothing,” he said and smiled. “I can wait.”

  “Would you teach me what I need to do?”

  “How do you assume I do that?” He challenged. “You don’t even want to leave that room. Are your eyes that bad?” It provoked me to move the shades from my face. “You’re right. I’m sorry I saved your life to give you such hideous eyes like mine. ”

  My stomach knotted at his remark. I assumed my eyes looked the way they did because they were burned with the rest of my face.

  “Like yours?” I repeated, my voice tinged with disbelief.

  “Yes,” he responded with a sigh. “Those are Saniel’s, but they don’t seem to illuminate the same as a real archon’s would. Are you afraid people will recognize you?”

  “Well, I wasn’t until I said something,” I admitted.

  “Don’t worry, anyone who had a relationship with her most likely already saw your eyes like that.”

  “You didn’t see them like this before, right?” I asked.

  He accurately recalled the color of my eyes before and said, “I think your eyes now are still beautiful,” he said before awkwardly waving his hand in front of his face. “I mean, you know, despite everything.”

  My cheeks burned, remembering doing the same to him.

  “Anyway,” he started, quickly changing the subject. “I wouldn’t be able to recognize any of the reincarnations. She had a lot of supporters, but honestly, it’d only be a handful who could pick her out.”

  “Like Zeekiel,” I said, without question, understanding what Ellie meant when she was supposed to protect “the person Zeek found”. “Gross,” I joked, while internally, I couldn’t help but think about how every time the demon looked at me, I was reminding him of someone he truly despised.

  Raziel laughed along. “You’d have to ask him that.” For all the answers Zeekiel had, I was going to have to learn how to talk to him if I wanted any of them.

  As we continued our walk through the garden, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of determination building within me. Despite the challenges and uncertainties ahead, having the others by my side made me believe that maybe I could navigate this new world I found myself in.

  Flocks of birds flew over, so many I could hear their wings and landing feet.

  “Sun’s coming up,” Raziel announced. “They’ll be using this place soon.”

  “It’s so loud in the morning,” I said. “Damn, birds are a wake-up call.”

  “I learned they’re summons. Apparently, they share bonds with them and act as avatars for those who still have their wings, but can’t fly. They take over to travel.”

  We approached the front of the house, and it was as charming as I could have imagined. At the top of the middle arch above the entrance, two wooden birds had been carved and painted.

  As the sun rose, we sat on the steps of the front porch. I listened to all the angel’s revelations on how the people lived at the sanctuary and it helped ease my apprehension from the idea of meeting them.

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