LucyKitsune

  "Look I'm sorry Miss Doppler, we aren't allowed to make exceptions. The fight against the aliens takes priority. I realize this isn't what you wanted to hear, and for the record, I wish there would be other options. Astronomy is a wide field, but I can't make exceptions."

  "So if I want a PhD, it’d have to be in flinging shit at aliens in space? What would that even be useful for after we win?"

  "For one thing, we cannot currently say if the conflict with the aliens will ever end. And even beyond that, space warfare will find applications in the future. If nothing else, you will be having no trouble getting a job in the military branch of ESA and they are contractually obligated to keep any scientific military personnel hired even if the military branch should close down."

  "It's really that or nothing?"

  "I'm afraid it is really that or nothing."

  "Fine, I'll go fight that stupid space-war, I guess..."

  Discussion between the dean of University of Vienna's faculty of astronomy and aspiring astronomer Luna Sol Doppler MSc - 2022

  System initialized!

  Good day Dr. Doppler! My name is Lyona and I am here to assist you. How may I help you?

  I swore as the weird alien dog thing bit through what remained of my spear. Fortunately it was close enough that accuracy didn't really matter and I could basically push my make-shift rail gun up to its skull and shoot.

  "A new spear would be helpful. Preferably one more durable than the one these fuckers just chewed through."

  Of course. I would normally ask you if you wanted to browse your options, but given the urgency, I suggest you just go with my recommendation: A regur titanium spear from the tier 1 basic melee weaponry catalogue for 5 points. Is that alright?

  "I don't know! Yes? What does any of that mean?!"

  New purchase: Tier 1 Basic Melee Weaponry

  Points reduced to 100

  New purchase: Regur Titanium Spear

  Points reduced to 95

  I probably should have questioned both the voice in my head AND the fact that a box appeared next to me, but in my defense, I didn't really have time or space to do that, so I just opened the box and found a metal stick that expanded into a spear once I removed it from the box. So much for a regur spear.

  Further disregarding any questions about that spear's durability, where it had come from, or just what was happening in general, I whipped the tip of my new spear around, just in time for one of the aliens to impale itself on it.

  I had held it to my side and not between me and the monster, which was a good thing, because if I didn’t, I would have impaled myself on the other end. I didn't have time to figure out how to dislodge the spear, so the next alien that charged at me was met with as many rail gun rounds as I could fire before it overheated. Fortunately at least one of them hit something important.

  Target eliminated!

  Model 3 x 2: 20 points

  New point total: 115 points

  You know that rail gun you're using is really bad. I could get you something better for like 25 points.

  I held my rail gun in front of me. It was very clear it wouldn't st for much longer. The only reason it had sted longer than the knife I had taped to a broomstick was because I wasn't stabbing stuff with it.

  "It's made with duct-tape and a prayer. How the fuck would it not suck? It wasn't even a good prayer, I'm not religious."

  It also doesn't matter how good your prayer was, there is no higher power in this universe. But I estimate that gun will fall apart in three to four more shots. Do you want a repcement?

  I shrugged and shook my head, before looking around. I was very pleased to not find any aliens around. That was good. I peeked out of the door to make sure there wouldn't be any more of them surprising me, then went inside and sat on one of the benches in front of Kurt G?del lecture hall.

  "Okay it looks like I have some time to freak out. What the fuck is happening?!"

  You have been chosen to become a Vanguard in the fight against the Antithesis and I am here to help you with that. If you want to kill more Antithesis, satellite images and surveilnce cameras I can access suggest the main part of this incursion is situated to your north. Funnily enough, they happen to be around and inside some military barracks.

  I took a breath. North of me, that was probably Rossauer Kaserne then. Right next to the faculty of math and business. But more importantly:

  "So what exactly are you? Are you like a headmate? Did I suddenly become plural?"

  You do not have dissociative identity disorder, at least not according to anything my data on you suggests. I am a css XXII AI designed to help Vanguard like yourself. But if it helps you understand the situation, you may refer to me as a headmate of yours. And because I can see more expining is required, how about you buy some lunch for a few points, and I'll expin while you eat?

  I threw away the burger-wrapper; it looked like fast food but damn, that was one of the best burgers I've ever eaten.

  "So, you're a chip in my head, and killing space-bugs gets me points that I can spend on shit that lets me kill more aliens, better?"

  Essentially. Although I should note that the Antithesis are more akin to pnts than to bugs. Speaking of which, you should probably get rid of the bodies of the model 3s you killed. They will become a problem if you leave them unattended for too long.

  I shrugged and looked around for anything I could use to do that. There was a lot of distilled alcohol around, so I could light them on fire, but starting a fire indoors was probably not a good idea.

  Wait.

  "Lyona, if I can buy shit to kill aliens and stuff like a burger with fries, can I also buy stuff to get rid of the bodies?"

  Certainly. I would recommend the nanomechanized warfare catalogue for that. You can use it to buy all sorts of nanites, some of which are made only for eating organic matter.

  Nanites that eat organic matter. Sure. Not terrifying and apocalyptic at all if those go out of control.

  "How much will that cost? And how do I make sure they don't just kill all life on the pnet?"

  The catalogue itself will cost 50 points and one nanite-grenade will cost you 5 points. They will also deactivate themselves after some time has passed, so they won't eat the pnet. You should consider blocking off the area though to make sure no one accidentally steps too close. And of course you yourself shouldn't set too close.

  "Lovely. I guess we do that? You're the expert when it comes to dealing with aliens. I'll go look for some red tape..."

  New purchase: Nanomechanized Warfare Css 1 Catalogue

  Points reduced to 63

  New purchase: Nanite Flesh Eater Grenade

  Points reduced to 58

  One excursion to the broom closet ter, I was able to tape up the area. Lyona specified how big the danger-zone would be, so I made sure to tape off that and a bit more to have a margin for error. Then I put down some danger, keep out, biohazard and radioactive signs, which I realized not all of them were actually describing what was happening there, but I was hoping that if some idiot decided to ignore danger, keep out and biohazard, they'd at least respect radioactivity. And honestly if they didn't that was on them at that point.

  "Alright. Now how do I activate this, not at all ominously named gizmo?"

  There's a button in the middle. After you push that, you have a minute to get out of the range and then it will start breaking apart organic matter.

  Alright, let's trust the voice in my head telling me to start the doomsday-device. What could possibly go wrong?

  As it turns out, nothing apparent.

  To be fair, I also did not think I would be hearing voices in my head or that they would be trustworthy when I had breakfast today, but here we are.

  "Right, so which street will be easier to walk on? Strudlhofstiege, Schwarzspanierstra?e or Ring? I'm assuming the bims are fucked for now?"

  Bims? Also I do believe your best bet would be to walk there via Strudlhofstiege and Liechtensteinstra?e. Public transport is quite understandably, not working right now.

  "Ah right, the rest of the world calls them trams. Here in Vienna we call them bim, because they go bim. Or they used to. The older models still do. Also if I'm gonna be fighting vegan aliens, what are my options for armour?"

  There are some makeshift solutions, however I would suggest you wait until you have 100 points to be able to buy the light body armour catalogue. That one has - as the name suggests - a lot of options to choose from when it comes to armour. Do you have any preferences I should be aware of when designing their visual aspects?

  So considering the amount of points I have, I'd have to fight aliens unarmoured. Fun.

  "Do you have anything with foxes?"