It is a little-known fact—chiefly because everyone who knew it has since retired to a small, padded room and is now being spoon-fed chamomile tea—that the most dangerous book in the multiverse isn’t the Necrotelicomnicon, nor is it the Liber Paginarum Fulvarum, but in fact a modest-looking pamphlet entitled A Style Guide for the Style Guide for the Style Guide of a Book About Writing a Book in Style.

  You may need a moment. Most people do.

  The book, or Guide-cubed as it is affectionately known by those still capable of affection, was written by a committee of highly confused authors who began with noble intentions and ended up arguing about the placement of commas in footnotes of examples of how to reference other examples. By the time they realized they’d started describing how to write a guide about writing a guide about writing a guide, it was too late. The recursion had begun.

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  Whole chapters looped back into themselves. Paragraphs referenced sections that hadn’t been written yet, while footnotes developed a thriving political structure entirely separate from the main text. At one point, the index sued the glossary for libel.

  And yet, buried within its pages—usually under a pile of apologies and misplaced colons—was an insight so pure, so refined, so dangerously logical, that it was immediately locked away in a vault and guarded by a retired English teacher named Doris who never forgave semicolons for existing.

  The insight? Simply this:

  “Style is what happens when you fail to follow the guide properly, but look good doing it.”

  So if you must write a guide for a guide for a guide, do remember: it is perfectly fine to get lost, so long as you leave a trail of elegant ellipses… and never, ever, look directly into the appendix

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