The testing started, each person waiting patiently.

  “You, sir, will be a brave knight.”

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: Brave Knight

  Description: Loved by the fairies as the first and bravest warrior. Go forth and defeat the Demon King.

  Bonus: Proficiency with heavy weapons.

  Excitement buzzed through the crowd. One by one, they eagerly awaited their turn, thrilled to see what magic they would receive. The next person was a tall, thin girl with sparkling eyes and a bright smile. She stepped into the circle, and with another wave of the wand, the fairy declared, “Diana, you are nimble and agile. Therefore, you are an acrobat.”

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: The Wasteland’s First Acrobat

  Description: Use your nimbleness to avoid danger. Go forth with bravery.

  Bonus: All equipment will be lighter than normal.

  Then came a quiet, bespectacled man. He cautiously stepped into the circle, and the fairy performed the ritual again. “You henceforth will be known as Presto, the Magician.” Preston’s eyes widened in excitement. He always played wizards in games, and now, he would wield real magic.

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: World’s First Magician

  Description: Harness the powers of mana and go forth bravely fighting evil.

  Bonus: Innate guide to mana and a discount on all magic-related items.

  The energy in the cave grew more electric as the crowd’s excitement built. One guy pushed to the front, his long hair falling down his back like a warrior from an action movie. Not your typical geek, he looked like a football player on steroids. The fairy waved his wand and said, “Frank, the Barbarian.” Frank grinned widely. Strength had always been his game. Both in real life and on the gridiron.

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: Brave Barbarian

  Description: Use your strength wisely. The Wasteland needs you.

  Bonus: While not wearing armor, your weapons will do more damage.

  Another girl stepped forward next, and the ceremony flew by in a blur. Her achievement unlocked.

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: The Thief

  Description: Skilled in sneaking and lockpicking. Watch your back.

  Bonus: Mana enhances your vision, making it easier to spot traps.

  Finally, a young boy with a scraggly moustache nervously entered the circle. After his turn, the fairy smiled and announced his achievement.

  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

  Title: The Ranger

  Description: As a skilled archer with a connection to nature, you are blessed with heightened senses.

  Bonus: You will always feel a connection to nature and animals and sense when evil is near. Mana will be your guide.

  The crowd was pumped now. One by one, the rest of the group quickly took their turns. The old fairy looked exhausted by the end of it, sweat beading on his wrinkled forehead. “Brave adventurers,” he gasped, “I have no more powers within myself. I must go.” And with that, he disappeared into the air.

  The first six, now titled adventurers, decided to form a party and hurried back to New B-Town.

  The Red Fairy had gifted them all mana coins before they set out. Taking the lead, Eric declared, “Let’s hit the store and see what gear we can grab.”

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  Inside the shop, a tiny fairy floated above the counter. “Brave adventurers, what can I do for you today?”

  Eric, ever the leader, shook his mana coin pouch proudly. “We’re a newly formed party and need gear!”

  The fairy grinned. “Thank you for your service to the Wasteland. I wish I could give you gear for free, but luckily, you have mana coins.” She took the pouch and disappeared behind a curtain.

  What the party didn’t see was her scrambling to load the coins into a bunch of vending machines. “Let’s see here… A knight, huh? Okay, some plate armor and a sword.” She mumbled to herself. “An acrobat? Hah, let’s get her some light armor and a pole. Useless, but hey, she’s happy.”

  Her eyes twinkled as she saw Presto the Magician on the list. “Oh, this’ll be fun.” She grabbed a set of gauntlets from the machine. They looked like fancy gloves, each finger rigged with buttons for casting spells. The spells were cheap knock-offs of what the Red Fairy herself used—definitely unstable, but they’d get the job done… probably. They had been bought dirt cheap from a bargain knockoff vending machine.

  A heavy club clattered out next, but in token form, it was easily managed. Then, two more vending machines dispensed daggers for the Thief and a shiny bow for the Ranger. “Let’s see if the Ranger can even pull that thing,” she muttered under her breath.

  With the gear in hand, the fairy returned and handed over the tokens. “Here you go, brave adventurers. May these tools serve you well in your journey. The fairies place their hopes in your hands.”

  Eric, striking his best heroic pose, puffed out his chest and smiled. “Thank you, Miss Fairy.” ‘Raising favorability with NPCs is key’, he thought. ‘Might get more perks later.’ He asked, “Any clues on where we should go first?”

  The fairy looked around thoughtfully. “I’ve heard rumors about a cave to the west, crawling with monsters. Maybe you’ll find a clue there.”

  “Thank you. We’ll head that way,” Eric replied, ‘I knew raising my favorability would pay off!”

  The adventurers, now armed with gear and weapons, were quick to head out.

  “We’ve got to be the first,” Eric declared, a determined glint in his eye.

  Sheila nodded, “No one will stop us. We’ll be heroes in the Wasteland, and hopefully, everyone will be portaled back to Earth.”

  “I can’t believe that everything the government showed us was a lie,” Presto said, his voice tinged with disbelief.

  “That’s the government for you, Preston,” Frank replied, shaking his head.

  “It’s Presto now, not Preston,” he corrected, a hint of annoyance creeping in. “Presto is my official magician name. Don’t make me blast you.” He held up his gloved hands in warning.

  “Whoa, sorry there, buddy,” Frank said, raising his hands defensively as they continued on their way.

  The Red Fairy had deliberately teleported them to a fourth, smaller continent—one that Atlas and the Celestial Emperor both hadn’t conquered yet. She had also removed any dangerous spawns. The only things they had to fight were horned rabbits.

  From her vantage point, the Red Fairy watched the show and laughed. The horned rabbits were rarely ever used in the Wasteland show; they were just too pathetic. Even refugees could stomp on them.

  The adventurers encountered a group of the horned rabbits, and with a few swings of their weapons, they easily dispatched the creatures.

  Just for fun she even gave the damage notifications in their pop ups.

  -1

  -1

  -3

  -245 critical (This was an error, it was supposed to say -24, the Red Fairy had made a typo . But since the numbers didn’t really do anything, the adventures didn’t notice. They really thought it was a massive critical. But the sharper eyed aliens watching did, and laughed at this Easter egg error.)

  You’ve killed a Horned Rabbit 4 exp awarded!

  ***

  “This is too easy,” Eric remarked, a grin spreading across his face as he looked around at his comrades. “We’re going to be legends!”

  They felt invincible as they moved deeper into the continent, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

  They found the scary cave. If there was a description, it would be: this is a scary cave with all sorts of scariness. They entered it, and there they fought more horned rabbits.

  “Only our pure bravery is allowing us to win,” said Presto as he hit the fireball button on his glove. A fireball blew a couple of bunnies away, the smell of charred meat lingering—kind of disgusting, kind of like a strange ad for BBQ. Diana, the acrobat, dodged around, doing cartwheels and somersaults, swinging her staff.

  “I’ve got this! Whack, whack!” Horned bunnies flew in every direction. After the initial fight, they faced a door. It was locked.

  “Aha, finally, a chance for me to show off my talents,” said Sheila, the thief. She quickly picked the lock, and inside they went.

  As they walked down the corridor, Bobby said, “Wait, I can feel a mana disturbance.” Sure enough, the silly green hat he had gotten from the fairy at the store allowed him to sense any variations in mana.

  “I believe that’s nature calling,” Bobby added.

  “What? You gotta go? We can wait,” Frank said, confused.

  “No, you barbarian. The call of nature, from the Wasteland. Over there, in the wall.”

  “Oh?” Sheila said, tapping the discoloured wall with one of her daggers. The thin veneer crumpled under her touch, revealing a small plant inside.

  “What’s this?” Bobby picked up the plant, examining it. “It’s… uh… a plant?” His green hat identified mana, and he felt a strong connection to the plant, though it didn’t reveal much else.

  “We should keep this plant safe. I can feel it’s important.”

  They continued down the corridor until they reached a giant door.

  “This might be a big fight,” Eric said. “This looks like a Boss door if I’ve ever seen one.”

  “Everybody be ready,” Presto added. “The power of bravery and teamwork will protect us,” he said, waving his hands dramatically.

  They opened the door, and inside they saw a fairy chained to the wall—but no monsters.

  “Look, a fairy, and she’s trapped,” Sheila said. She hurried forward, quickly unlocking the chains with her magical lockpicks. Not particularly powerful, the chains and padlock were both cheap garbage from vending machines.

  “Oh, you’ve saved me,” the fairy said weakly. “I was trying to report where the magic weapon was, but the evil demon king Atlas captured me and trapped me here for months. I have no energy… I’m about to pass out…” and with a dramatic flair, she collapsed. She also had a reallllyyy hard time not laughing her head off as she faked collapsing.